Marriage is a truly beautiful bond to share with someone. You promise to love, cherish and be there for each other for the rest of your lives. Having someone who has your back all the time makes life a little less hard but we as women tend to push ourselves a little too much. We tend to give ourselves away to our kids, husband, work, and whatnot and forget to make time for ourselves. What we desperately need to learn is that sometimes it’s okay to put ourselves first and think of our needs and wants. Just like a car needs to refuel to keep going, we need to ensure that we get the ‘me time’ we need for our sanity and to be happy. If we are happy, it reflects on those around us. Being too selfless has it’s negative consequences too. Marriage doesn’t mean that you have to lose your identity in order to keep everyone around you happy. Here are a few signs that you need to carve out time for yourself and tips on accomplishing that.
1. When you don’t look like yourself anymore
Taking care of yourself is important if you don’t want to reach a phase where you don’t recognize yourself in the mirror anymore. It’s an indication that you have neglected yourself and it’s high time that you make a few changes in your current lifestyle. Take time out from your busy schedule and do something for yourself. Go to the gym, schedule a haircut, indulge yourself with a mani-pedi or whatever takes your fancy. Don’t lose interest in the things that interested you before. It’s not a bad thing if you care about your appearance. Stop feeling guilty about these things and just accept that there are some things that you need to do for yourself.
2. When your schedule revolves around everyone else
Clear your schedule to accommodate your needs once in a while. We know how hard it is to juggle everything. There’s always some practice or party that your kid needs to attend, dinners you need to host, meetings to attend, that it seems like you’re drowning in them. Slow down and take a deep breath. It’s all going to be fine especially since you have a partner to help you figure these things out. The two of you should coordinate and figure out your schedules so that you have some free time to do the things you like. Go watch the movie that you’ve always wanted to watch or spend some time chilling with your girlfriends.Make time for yourself to do the things that make you happy. Not doing things for yourself will lead to you being resentful towards your partner and dissatisfied with your life.
3. If you can't remember the last time you said ‘no’
Saying ‘yes’ all the time can have a negative impact on your life. If that yes means more on your plate than you can handle, then it’s time you learnt to say no in your relationship. Instead of strengthening your relationship, it actually damages it. So the next time you don’t feel like hosting a dinner party or agreeing with everything your partner says, voice your opinion. It goes a long way to having a happy and trusting relationship.
4. When you’re being passive- aggressive
Frustration and anger build up over time when an issue is not addressed properly and it can be demonstrated in many forms. Women, in general, tend to be more passive-aggressive than confrontational. Your partner probably won’t understand that you’re upset with him for not helping with the dishes if you criticize him for his favourite TV show. Being straightforward will actually get you what you want and your partner will respect you for it.