Parenting is tough, and it gets tougher as your kid does all that mischief that you don’t want them to. It can be easy to lose your temper and scold them, and while scolding your kids once in a while is okay, it should never be a habit. The tone you use with your child has to be more conversational, setting your child on an equal footing.
Talking down to your child can be bad for them, and for your parent-child relationship too. Children like to be treated like adults, despite how young they are - they have a desire to feel like they belong in society and can achieve certain successes. So the next time your child does something that irritates you, watch your tone - here’s why:
It affects self-esteem
When you scold your child, they are aware that they made a mistake. But if the scoldings become a frequent event, they are going to feel inferior. The age between 4 and 10 years is one where your child is trying to feel accomplished by doing small tasks, so scolding them often can make them feel shame and guilt, and impact their self-esteem.
Social skills take a hit
Excessively scolding your child can make them afraid of you. The problem can also make your child excessively shy or afraid to interact with his peers, because they worry about making mistakes again. It is very important for children to interact with their peers as this allows them to learn social skills and make friends.
Their performance suffers
Your child may also spend a lot of time sulking about the scoldings, and although this is natural once in a while, it may make your child anxious or depressed over a period. The fear of upsetting you can inhibit their creativity and effort. They could also become rebellious and make it more difficult for you to take care of them.
Tips to Avoid Talking Down to Your Child
We get it. Children can do things that frustrate you. They make messes, scream, and sometimes disobey the instructions you gave them. But as parents, patience and kindness is the best form of education you can use to teach your child how to behave better. Here are some things you can keep in mind:
When you tell your child not to do something, explain why. A slight exaggeration of consequences is okay, but avoid lying about them altogether.
- Mind your tone and avoid name-calling.
Name-calling can affect your child, as well as give rise to the same habit in your child. It can be hard to check your tone all the time, but over time, it will make you patient and teach your child the same.
- Encourage them.
Try not to decide which activities your child should take up. Offer them options and also take their own interests into account.
Encourage them to do things they are good at or enjoy. Compliment their efforts. Never tell them that they didn’t do a good job. Help them improve. Allowing your child a degree of freedom could also help their creativity.
Parenting may not be the easiest thing to do, but remember that your child is trying their best to win your love and approval. You’re everything they’re trying to be, so encourage their effort and help them understand right and wrong. Your kids will be grateful to you for a lifetime, and you’ll always appreciate each other!