As the wedding season approaches, the couples are faced with questions about future especially for those facing an arranged marriage. Getting to know your partner and understanding their views is really important to a good start. So what exactly to talk about? Here is a list:
The biggest one is the question of kids. Many couples fail to communicate with their partners and end up being frustrated. A family friend rues that she wants a second baby while her hubby is stuck on having one. This has led them to have a cold war on the issue. So it's better to have opinions on the same page.
Also, ask the who and how's of the birth control that can be established.
2. Homing ground:
“Home is where the heart is” depicts how location is an important part of marriage. Where you wish to settle and why should be discussed at length. Discuss factors which can cause you to change location: money, kids Education, etc. For a couple staying closer to the family can be more important than a lucrative career or for a lady her own abode rather than staying with in-laws. So a suitable resolution of such divergent opinions should be planned and implemented.
3. Sharing is caring:
In this era of social media, the question of sharing the password arises. It is good to clarify the level of comfort one has with the sharing of resources and online logins. Discuss at length the bank account details or Personal finances. This will help avoid future insecurities and inconveniences.
4. Communicable diseases:
Communicable diseases like HIV should be predetermined so as to ensure a healthy relationship. Discussion with a partner for the allergies and dietary restriction can help increase empathic behaviour. Further, the religious and political views should be clarified.
5. Resolving differences:
No marriage is perfect for there is always a conflict of emotion and values. In such a case, the strategic planning regarding conflict resolution should be done in advance. Hence, clarify what constitutes a big deal for you. My cousin and her hubby have a clear goal of conflict resolution. Whatever may be the discomfort, the matter should be clarified before going to bed and neither one will complain about the issue to other's family or friends until it is a dire challenge. So when she handles long office hours, the bro-in-law helps to raise kids.
As two separate entities joining by love and holy matrimony, the dreams and wish lists become the sacrificial goat. Before leaving the dream in the lurch for other duties, talk to your other half. An aunt of mine wanted to tour the world and never talked about it. The uncle being on the shy side decided to go an extra mile and took her out to fight empty nest syndrome. The Crux: discuss it now!
7. The past:
As a marriage is a new phase, the past relationships and issues should be put on the table. This will help you and your partner to form a stronger bond and deal with insecurities. Having a walkthrough of each other's past will always yield better relationship. So instead of having a fight with each other, you can fight as a team against matrimonial issues.
8. About relationship:
While discussion can be on anything under the sun, the marriage highlights should be discussed. This will bring a positive attitude and motivate you both to accommodate. These cherished moments will remind you why you fell in love. A board having the day's fun points or a love diary with the beautiful memories can be maintained and read during the bumpy and grumpy days.