Dealing with a new addition to the family and balancing the career demands causes the mothers to feel they are neglecting their primary duties in lieu of monetary gain. Leaving the child with a nanny is another cause of unhappiness (feeling you would have done it better) or the child's indifference to your absence.
On the first day back to the job after maternity leave, a colleague of mine cried for being unable to lactate her kid while another gave her darling husband a dressing down as his mama didn't feed the baby with the baby food her sister had bought from abroad! A mother of premature kid left her job as the baby wouldn't allow her to go and threw a big tantrum (making the whole family come to Mama's job to soothe the kid).
These are only a few of many things that raise mom's anxiety. So how to deal with this? Read on:
Understanding the cause of Mom Guilt:
The causes can germinate from a slight sense of ignoring the baby and family members multiplying it. Other causes exist like:
TV as the nanny: Many Mommies take the help of the TV to act in as a nanny because home tasks get a priority. Once the kids sit in front of the telly, they immediately get lost in the la la land.
Home cleaning: Not making your home the spic and span ideal dream home while handling the tiny steps that occupies all the attention may cause a feeling of guilt.
Hiring nanny: The most common reason for guilt is leaving the baby in others company and joining the job. Even when you are at work, the thoughts are occupied with baby and insecurity regarding his well being.
Not being able to afford the goodies: As the kids grow older, so do their demands. So whenever you are on a shopping spree, the kid will throw a tantrum fit to own the things on the display.
The yelling aftermath: As being a mother is a full-time job and the Topsy turvy life is the new normal, being tired and short-tempered is common.
Compete with none: When you read the above causes you understand and accept that parenting plan is your choice. Also, avoid being the ideal parent that others expect you to be. Remember: To err is being human.
Share the load: Share the workload both at home and office. Seek help from grandparents, co-workers, neighbors and anyone else who might be interested in this. This will allow you to have more time at hand and ease the demands of the motherhood.
Talk to other mommies: Remember talking eases the guilt. Share the issues that bug you with a good friend or mommies and they would be happy to help you stay happy and collected. Also, don't sacrifice being a wife for the demands of motherhood.
Avoid being the supermom: A great writer once said that her kid should have the best his mom can give. Things should be kept as simple as that. Remember there is no need to be insecure regarding your parenting plan and being a super mom (that someone else's status being the benchmark for you).
Seek medical attention: If motherhood seems to have taken a huge toll on you then seek medical attention to enjoy life to the fullest.