Having a kid and taking care of him is not a simple task. In spite of all this, when your loved one starts throwing a tantrum, you wouldn’t know what to concentrate on or what to do. Even for the parents, they can't just yell at their children to keep quiet. When your kid's in the middle of a tantrum, it's important to restrain yourself and not throw a tantrum.
Kids from 1-4 wouldn't have developed good coping skills and hence they lose it and won't know how to cope up with that. Especially when they turn 2, they know what they want, but they wouldn't be able to communicate hence they cry out. For kids around 4, they know what they want, if they don't get it, what do they do ?, GO TANTRUM POWER. Here are some simple methods for you help your children during a breakdown….
The most important thing any parent can do is listen to why your lil one is angry or why he is upset. By doing so, the kid gets a mindset that, his parents are listening to him, meaning, they are ready to hear him out. It develops a sense of trust and bonding between parents and kids. It shows that you acknowledge your loved ones and this makes them feel safe and secure.
2. Look from their point of view
Small ones throw a tantrum when things don't go their way or they don't know how to express their feelings and thoughts. They usually start shouting or crying loudly to get your attention and when in want of something. To help you with this try to be as compassionate as possible and try to look at his problem by standing in his shoes. This builds a good rapport between the parents and children, thereby making children open up better with their parents over the coming years.
3. Rudeness and personal attacks
Parents are supposed to keep their cool even in these toughest of times. We know, it's a new thing listening to all the screaming, throwing stuff and shouting, but it's important to keep your shit together. Usually, children get worried about unwanted stuff or they are mad about some vague reason, but please don’t yell at them. They don't hate you or any of that sort, they are trying to show upset they are and they just want you to listen to them. Instead of getting hurt by what those lil ones say, respond by “Hey honey! What's wrong ? is something bothering you? Tell me why you are upset!” when you do this you can see how your child’s attitude changes and he starts showing his feelings more appropriately.
4. Time and space
Haha!! Don't worry this is not some physics topic, talking about space and time. See when a kid suffers a meltdown, let it be for any reason, give him some space to calm down. He will come to his senses on what he was thinking and will understand his mistake. Give some time for him to fade his anger out. Don't try to advise or patronize him. Kids usually understand why they are acting in that particular way when they are given the time to think about it. Just make sure he doesn’t hurt himself in the process of it.
5. After he's calmed down, have a One to one talk
Have a happy one to one talk with your loved ones. Try not make it a lecture, instead, say it in the form of a story or a rhyme. Help them understand themselves and make sure you listen to them. We cannot stress this more, kids of the time want you to show your attention to them and that is one of the reasons for their tantrum. Your child knows what she did was wrong, by you helping her, she would show a better way of expressing her feelings.
6. Trickery and incentives
This is the last trick on the house. Suppose you are in a mall with your kid and he starts throwing a tantrum, what can one do? At that time, most of the parents try to trick them into changing their minds or getting the chocolate. You could have seen even with toddlers when you give them toys or make sounds, they stop crying and their attention completely changes. This is used for small kids too, like “ baby, if you behave well and if you stop crying, I'll get you a big ice cream cone!”.
Children go through meltdown and tantrums all the time. It's your parent's responsibility on how you approach them and help your loved ones understand what they want. Whatever you do, don't lose your temper on them, cause they delicate things and those emotions stay with them. Talk with them, have fun with them, be there for them, then they will start understanding what’s good for them and how to deal with anything, thereby acting more appropriately.