Isn’t it a huge decision? Having a second child can change your life entirely. You may feel awkward talking to your partner about it and may even hide your feelings. However, without this conversation, it is not possible to move ahead. So, gear up and read the about the seven things to keep in mind before popping the question.
Be sure of your feelings
It is extremely important you have your reasons clearly laid out. Before you communicate your feelings to your partner, justify them to yourself. Meanwhile, having another baby is an emotional decision, so make sure it is not an impulsive one. The need to have a baby can be confused with other things and can even be a phase. Many individuals feel the pressure to have another baby before it might get too late ‘biologically’ or ‘financially’ and take the decision in a hurry. Being confused will not help while you are trying to express yourself, so think about your reasons with clarity.
You would have clearly thought a lot about the topic, however, this might be the first time your partner is confronted with the idea. You need to be patient and listen to them - there is no point in putting pressure on them. They may need time to process the idea and this does not necessarily mean they are trying to avoid the conversation. You also need to give them their space while thinking about it. After all, this is a huge step in both of your lives.
Be open minded
Your partner may bring some other points onto the table. Do not be in a hurry or dismiss them without giving proper thought. Meanwhile, expect your partner to be brutally honest. It may hurt your feelings but will also open new ways of thinking.
Think of your first born
Though your child does not have the final word in your decision, it is important to consider their feelings and reaction. It may vary immensely from child to child and with age. Take the time to sit down and talk to them. They may be extremely happy, sad or notoriously indifferent. Explain to them what it would mean and how it can change their life - from the reduced attention they get, to their responsibility as an older sibling.
Think about your finances
It is a very important aspect of your decision. Often, blanketed under emotions and considered irrelevant, improper planning can lead to problems later. Consider all the expenses, big and small. Consider costs like healthcare, medicines and insurance, to diapers, baby food, and clothes. You should also think about school and college fees and gauge if you will be able to afford the same in the near future - for not one, but two kids! These are not comfortable numbers to deal with but give a clear picture. It is better to plan the finances at the present rather than at a later stage when things are not going your way. If the numbers do not tally, it is better to take some time, set up a financial base and then think about this choice.
Plan the changes in your lifestyle and career
You have already gone through it once. The sleepless nights, stinky diapers, a messy kitchen, frequent visits to the pediatrician, the list goes on. Ask yourself, if you are prepared to do the same, yet again. Attending parties, going for a vacation or even buying groceries will become difficult.
You often felt exhausted and never had time for yourself the last time. This time around, you will have to take care of two kids in the same twenty-four hours. It is equally important to discuss and divide the responsibilities with your partner. It is possible that one of you may have to stay home for a few months to take care of the children. Be prepared and open to discuss these crucial points.
Consider your health
You might have had a normal pregnancy the first time around, however statistically, there are higher chances of complications when getting pregnant for the second time. Discuss these in detail with your partner and your doctor.
Once you have considered and planned for all the above points you are ready to have the big conversation. Go ahead and have your discussion.