We know not to swear in front of our little ones. Their vocabulary grows by learning and mimicking what we say. If we were to use swear words as often as we’d like to, they would use it in front of their friends too and we don’t want that happening now do we?
But life isn’t going to keep us protected from using the occasional curse word - when you stub your toe against the table or touch a hot frying pan for example. Why? Because that’s just life! So what do we do to stop ourselves from using bad words in front of kids? We could train ourselves to use alternative curse words so that our kids don’t use the bad words.
Since this is an issue most of us face, we have prepared a list of possible substitute words. Here are a couple of non-curse words that you could use:
1. Shiitake Mushrooms, Fructose and Asparagus
You might have heard of these ingredients while reading through recipes; you may have even tried them out at a restaurant. These delicious ingredients can be used as a substitute for the most common swear words we use - s**t, f**k and a$$. A dish using shiitake mushrooms and asparagus has been shown in this image:
Fact: Chef Gordon Ramsay is known for using a lot of swear words and he has been using these alternatives when he is around his kids. He has even taught his kids to use these substitute words.
2. Juice Box
Sometimes, we get annoying or unwanted calls when we are trying to relax at home. Perhaps, the cab service you use hasn’t given you a refund yet. Or maybe your food delivery is taking longer than it should and you have hungry guests waiting for you. All you want to do is let your frustration out by calling the person on the phone a d-bag.
But then your little one is standing right there tugging at the hem of your dress. You can’t possibly swear in front of them. That’s when you can use the substitute word for d-bag: juice box. You will feel relieved, your kid will giggle a little and nobody gets hurt.
3. Son of a biscuit eater
This is for those times when you are frustrated beyond limits and those four words (son of a b***h) are just stuck in your mouth waiting to be released but you can’t possibly swear out loud in front of 10 kids at a birthday party.
So, instead, you could just fill up your lungs and say “SON OF A BISCUIT eater!”. There, feel better? You’re welcome!
A more popular alternative to using curse words is sugar which is used as a substitute for - you guessed it - s**t. When you get your hand or finger jammed in the door while closing it (ouch!), you can’t help but yelp out a swear word without thinking - it happens to the best of us.
Making it a habit to use these alternatives will make it more likely for us to use them instead of the really bad words in front of the kids.
5. Sugar Spice Cashews and Chewy Marshmallows
The best alternative to curse words is just using the first words that come to your mind when you are in pain. This is what gave rise to “sugar spice cashews” and “chewy marshmallows”. They are harmless, allows you to let out your anger and your kids will earn a giggle out of them.
You don’t have to stick to food-related alternatives to swear words either - though they are the easiest to think of - you can get creative with them. “Colour Pants”, “Jumping Bats” and “Fuzzy Patsy” are other random safe words you can use. Think clean and you won’t go wrong.
6. Zip It, Happy Meal
Sound familiar? This alternative has been taken out of the movie “Despicable Me” which your toddler has probably watched a zillion times till now. Kids can be a tad bit annoying sometimes and all we want is for them to sit down for a while in silence.
Using this cute and awesome substitute for harsher words will make them laugh and could even do something magical - it might quieten them down for a few minutes.
7. Shut The Front Door
If you have ever watched the popular TV series “Castle” you would know where this substitute curse came from. The main character (Writer Richard Castle) uses this, possibly to avoid swearing in front of his daughter.
He even uses them when he is out with his friends possibly to try and make it a habit. You could try doing the same so that you don’t end up swearing in front of your kids either. The best part is that your friends would also find it funny when you use those alternative curse words.
Do you have any funny alternative curse words that you use in front of the kids apart from the ones listed here? Please do share the ones you use! The more we know the better!