The phrase toxic marriage sounds sick to the ears. Marriages may bring joy and happiness and better psychological and physical health, but not all marriages do so. People married unhappily do not get any of those things, instead, it makes them unhealthy too. Sometimes, you are blinded to the fact that your marriage is toxic and unable to see the negativity in you and your partner. There are some signs that you can check to see if you need to have a hard look at your marriage and decide what you need to do about it.
1. You both are always finding faults with everything the other person does or say.
Pay attention to this. Is your spouse inspecting every little detail of whatever it is you do, or is he picking on words you say? Is he criticizing you more than ever or if the criticism has turned to attacks? If you feel that you can never say or do anything right, it might be a sign of trouble.
2. You are lying about your relationship with friends and family.
There are certain things that we like to keep in the household itself and that is perfectly okay. But when the signs of trouble are evident and obviously visible to others and you still keep on telling everyone that you are fine in order to be evasive and not confront the truth, you know for yourself that things are not working as they should.
3. You are sad, and crying much more than usual.
If you find yourself in a gloomy mood all the time, and even the slightest disturbance fills you with frustration and brings tears to your eyes, then something is definitely wrong. If you find yourself out of sleep at night lying in your bed, or simply absent-minded at work or while driving home, it means you can no longer ignore the subconscious emotions.
4. You do not have sex anymore.
Sex is a basic human need. Everyone needs to feel connected and loved. If you are losing the spark or you do not have the same affection for your spouse, it will reflect in the love-making. Eventually, you will even reduce the more basic things like kissing, hugging and even holding hands, refusing to reconnect with your partner.
5. You are thinking of leaving your spouse, constantly.
The thought of breaking all shackles of the institution of marriage is high upon your mind. You are always evaluating the pros of cons of leaving your spouse. You are fantasizing about a life without your partner all the time. When the situation gets unbearable, it is our natural reaction to get away from the pain, because of the ‘fight or flight’ reaction built inside of us.
6. You withdraw yourself from family, friends and, society.
We feel most comfortable in the company of our solitude. If you find yourself refusing invitations to parties, or a get together with friends is something just too much to handle, or talking to your parents only frustrates you, you would obviously shut yourself to the world and be alone. You will feel like no one understands you. You need to be careful, as shutting yourself from people can lead to depression.
No relationship is perfect. Each one comes with its own ups and downs. But if you find yourself relating to these signs, your marriage may be in trouble. You need to use your best judgment in order to tackle the situation and decide what is best for you physically and emotionally.