Sibling Rivalry: How Should Mothers Deal With It?
As a mother of more than one child, sibling rivalry is a normal routine. When there are two or more than two, the obvious situation of mother's unable to give equal attention to all the children at the same time might spark a bit of jealousy among siblings.
An age gap between children can provoke the mother to give emphasis to the younger one over the older ones, and this is another reason for insecurity among siblings.
While parents tend to have a predilection towards the younger sibling, the obvious pampering follows, which builds a feeling of jealousy and being left out among the elder one. An evident amount of new goodies for the younger one might spark a resentment towards the younger one.
The logical explanation to a mother's priority towards the younger one over the older one is the simple factor of the younger one being more dependent on the older one. The elder ones have had their alone time with their mother during infancy. Mother's are bound to be more concentrated on the younger ones.
Sibling rivalry can be an outcome of feeling left out. When there are three children, it is impossible to maintain a balance in the amount of attention towards each child. The middle child is most likely to feel the same, and their insecurities build as they grow if immediate attention is not given to the situation at hand. Addressing the matter itself can reduce hostility towards other siblings.
This rivalry is most often than ever an outcome of divided attention among parents towards them. The moment you take notice of the issue at hand, it might solve innumerable problems among your children. The earlier you curb the issue the better.
Here are a few solutions that might help tone down the aggression between siblings.
1. As a parent make sure you avoid comparisons among your children. This might build a resentment towards each other.
2. Never make one child responsible for the other, as it might cause a resentful feeling towards the other for the burden of taking care of them.
3. Try and let your children sort out issues amongst themselves unless there is a dire necessity to intervene.
4. Prepare your child for a new member before birth. Their sibling bond will grow after birth since you have given them adequate time to prepare for their younger sibling.
5. Instill gender sensitivity among your children, as this will go a long way. Make sure you phrase your sentences well in order that you do not make it look like a situation of partiality.
6. Avoid having favourites and make sure your children do not get a spark of this partiality. It will bring out the worst in your child.