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Salvage Your Relationship From Holiday Hell This Season

Tis the season for cheating? Apparently, that’s true for many couples during the holiday season. The Clover dating app survey found that there is a 300 percent increase in sign-ups from people already in a relationship during the month of December. And surprisingly there are 33% more committed women than men. This means, at least on dating apps, women are cheating more than men around the holidays.

What if you catch a cheating spouse in a month that is supposed to be celebrated with love and togetherness? Last year my girlfriend chose to be one of them. I would admit that things between us were not going as smooth as they should be. But all relations have a rocky phase and couples either deal with it or break-off. She chose the latter. But it isn’t what she chose that hurts, it is the way she did it.

How can you catch a cheating spouse?

Lately, she had been on her phone a lot and upon asking she would say “I reconnected with an old friend online.” I tried to avoid thinking about it and discussed the upcoming holiday plans with her. I was planning to throw a surprise party to our family and friends where I would propose my girlfriend. She did not know about this. But her changed behaviour led me to suspect that something is not right.

When I discussed it with my BFF, he suggested me to use to catch a cheating spouse. I knew that spying on spouse cell phone was not the best of an option as my suspicion may not be enough to deem her unfaithful. But with a heavy heart, I installed it on my girlfriend’s smartphone and the results were a shocker for me.


She was sloppy and didn’t delete her conversations with her ‘friend’. The app gave me the details of her Facebook and WhatsApp IMs. But it was actually through her iMessages that I found out it was more than just a ‘friendship’. When I traced her emails and calls through the app, it was shocking that the girl I was about to propose for marriage, was planning to hit high this Thanksgiving day with someone else.

'Tis the season for cuffing?

Holidays are the time of year when relationships seem to be under a microscope. Spying on spouse cell phone may have its moral dimensions but research says that partners are more likely to cheat on each other during the holiday season of the year. That’s why the apps like Xnspy are used frequently in these days to catch a cheating spouse.

Tis the season for love?

Couples have different reasons to cheat and there is no way I was going to ruin my holiday season. Instead, I decided to give our relationship a chance to relive. I realized that I was too much of work and not giving her due attention as the holiday season approached. So I did a few things to salvage my relationship and I hope they may work for you.

• Invigorate your love:

All relationships are not doomed. But they fade slowly due to our busyness and changing priorities. In another survey by VoucherCodesPro, a staggering 65% of the females revealed the biggest reason behind the cheating was that they were not given enough attention by their partners. The holiday season gives you the opportunity to revitalize your relationship with your partner. So go on dates, regularly talk as friends and clear boundaries for yourselves about time alone with coworkers or friends that are of the opposite sex.

• Keep your expectations real:

During the holidays, expectations are often too high. People often think that their significant other will be able to read their minds. But it is unreasonable and may leave you feeling resentful when your partner does not live up to your unspoken hopes. So make an effort to be clear about what you would like your partner to do for you this holiday season. Develop consensus, and give options so that you create an environment for connecting and sharing.

• Appreciate your partner:

On the other side of the coin, some of us aren't great at accepting holiday gifts gracefully. Some people pull away from their partners and fail to respond with gratitude. So appreciate your partner by going out of your way. Delivering a flattening comment won’t boost your partner’s ego. A response as simple as 'Where did you find this?! It's wonderful!' will take you a long way towards strengthening your bond with your partner.

The holiday season can be a stressful one. Our counselling load always goes up, because people and their relationships are imperfect, but we often want our celebration time to be picture perfect. While simplifying your holiday season, take time for relationships to thrive, not just survive the holidays. Keep those relationships balanced with your holiday planning. People ARE more important than things at this time of year. The majority of people when asked what makes Christmas feel more meaningful, say it is time spent with those they love, worshipping the God that loves them!

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