Living with mother in law isn’t an easy task. What is your first reaction whenever you hear the word mother in law? Do you get annoyed or irritated? Then it is time for you to revamp your in-law relationships.
When you marry a person, it is important to establish a strong relationship with not only your husband but also with your in-laws. Especially if you are living with them, you should maintain a healthy relationship. There are so many people who usually complain saying, “my mother in law hates me”. It is a very common complaint and if you are from that same category then now is the time to change that hate into love. Efforts from your side matters most in this situation. The relationship between men and their in-laws is a lot easier when compared to the relationship between women and their in-laws. Women have a complicated relationship.
There are two types of ways usually people opt to deal with their in-laws - moving on and ignoring the issues or hanging to the same issue and keep on talking about it. Either way, it is really harmful and effects your peace of mind. It is important to make your married life pleasant by solving the issues that you have with your in-laws. In most cases, the main issue arises in the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship. For some mother in laws, everything their daughter-in-law does appears to be a mistake. Ignoring such things isn’t going to do any good for your relationship with in-laws, so it is better to sit and solve everything.
Here are some of the tips that you can use for a better relationship with the in-laws:
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Do Not Blame Your Husband
This is something that most of the wives do. You may have a problem with your in-laws but blaming it on your husband isn’t the right thing to do. Your husband knows about his parents and their shortcomings already and you pointing out them again is nothing but insulting him. So do not discuss in-law relationships with your husband.
Do Not Overreact
No matter how angry or sad you are in a certain situation, be in control. Control your emotions and do not overreact. Excessive anger or excessive emotional feelings leads to nothing. If you speak anything ill in such situations, it can ruin your entire relationship with your in-laws. Words that come out of your mouth can never be undone and you have to face the consequences for a long time. So, it is better if you keep your emotions under control and deal with your in-laws calmly.
Father In Law Daughter In Law Bonding
Father in law and daughter in law relationship is a bit complicated. It is not easy to be very close to your father-in-law and you should be careful when you are around him. Generally, father-in-laws stays away from any disputes with daughter-in-law. Most father-in-law and daughter-in-law relationships end up being positive due to the bond. The one thing that you have to do is to establish a good bonding with him and treat him like your own father.
Keep Very Low Expectations
It is very important to remember that your parents and parents in law are a lot different and your life at in-laws will not be the same. Keep your expectations very low, they aren’t your parents to give you everything that you want to remember that because expectations will surely hurt.
Give Your In-Laws Some Work
Yes, you heard it right. Work means something like babysitting, taking care of the house when you are not around or even taking care of the pet. Your in-laws may love doing something that you don’t know. Ask them what they want to do and make sure to let them do that work. This way they will feel good and doing their favourite things will also help in relieving the stress.
Suppress The Ego
It is important to control your ego. Remember that you aren’t at your parents' house. Most of the relationships end due to the ego. This ego will not only affect your relationship with your partner but also influences the relationship that you have with your partner. So be humble and avoid the conflicts as much as possible.
Stop Comparing Your Families
Every family has a different dynamic and you will surely experience a different environment at your in-laws home. Try and get accustomed to the change and do not brag about your parent’s home. Understand the change and roll the ball with it. It is not in your hands to change the dynamic of your in-laws home.
Talk To Your Mother in Law
Getting overprotective of the son and establishing an emotional bond with him, do not respect your boundaries, trying to dominate and control your husband, competing with you are jealous mother in law signs. If you ever experience it then your mother in law is jealous of you and you have to make tackle her jealous feelings. For every mother her son is everything and when another woman enters his life, they will surely feel intimidated. Some mother in laws handles such situation naggy whereas some others express it and do not understand the situations. If your mother in law is of the second category then give her the assurance that both you and your spouse will always take care of her and her son’s behaviour isn’t going to change.
Get To Know Them
This is another important thing that you have to do. Most of the people in this world are well intended only. Your in-laws are the beloved parents of your husband and there is no reason for them to hurt you. So if there is any dispute, try to understand the main reason behind the dispute and if there is any problem on your side try to resolve it by apologizing.
The relationship between mother in law and daughter in law is very complicated and it is important to handle it with utmost care and love.