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Reassuring Your First Born That You Won't Love Your Newborn More

You're pregnant again?! Wow, what a blessing.

You have already experienced the joy of having a baby once in your life, you would be looking forward to it very much, but on some level, you would also be wondering whether this would be any different from your first experience. "YES", it would be different when compared to that of your first time. Mainly, because you would already have your firstborn at home.

The firstborn in your family celebrated and showered with so much love, adored for so long, being at all of his beck and call, and being the centre of your life for so long that it would feel like it is a natural occurrence for you.

Suddenly, all that would come to a halt with another joyous news, "you are pregnant again".

Now, usually, this is met with an immense amount of joy, though a little bittersweet(duh!!), since already experienced once, you would naturally be better equipped this time around going into pregnancy again.

But wait, are you forgetting something? While you go through the precautions and preparing for the safe-coming of the child, your firstborn might feel left out, not giving as much attention, or altogether ignored. In reality, though, your priorities would have to change to the expected child for a long time until they reach a certain age.

You would not want your firstborn to act out or throw tantrums on all little things nor would you want your firstborn to fester all that jealousy or immature anger within him without expressing it.

There is a simple way to avoid all this, guide your firstborn into believing that having a little brother/sister is not a cause for jealousy/anger, but it is a responsibility on him to take care of his little sibling and shelter her. Though it is ideal to achieve the above-mentioned line, not all children feel that way.

Here are some other ways to quell your child of the ill feelings he could bear through your second span of pregnancy and not have it pass on to his little sibling:

1. Remind them or assure them of your love to them:

Though it would be a very busy time during pregnancy, you would have to make time to constantly remind your firstborn how much you love them and also if possible mention that your firstborn is going to be a "big brother/sister to his little sibling and his little sibling is always going to look up to him/her", try and foster some love in him for his little sibling.

2. Spend some quality time:

Usually, you would always spend time with your child together, now due to the new baby, you will be hard pressed for time in order to realize the same amount of time with your firstborn, but make time and spend some quality time and try and get him also excited about the coming new baby.

3. Wary of the way you speak:

At times, what you say might be the right thing, but you have to understand that you are dealing with a child and you should always be wary of your speech because though unintended, any small slip of the tongue or insinuating that your firstborn is wrong, or that he/she was over-reacting to nothing, or denying everything he asks for due to the new baby would make the baby bear some resentment towards your second child.

4. Make sure that he doesn't feel left out:

When you have a child at any point in your life, there are always going to be huge changes occurring in your life and with those changes, you will try to cope with them as best as you can. During all these, make sure that your firstborn doesn't feel left out, in fact, take his help preparing for the new baby and talk to him about the positive influence he can be on the baby.

5. List of the positives:

Another one of the effective things you can do to increase the harmony between your firstborn and his little sibling is for you to make a list of all the good/positive things that can happen in his/her life due to a little baby. Thus, you can increase the enthusiasm of your firstborn towards your next baby.

6. Overwhelming emotions:

Now, you would have set as much groundwork as possible in order for your firstborn to ease into accepting his little sibling, but still the sheer raw emotions you feel at the time of it happening would be beyond any preparation, which is why you would have to take care as to not scare away your firstborn and make him feel that the emotion is nothing but the joy of love or a beacon showing way to another journey. 

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