Reasons Your Husband And In-laws Don’t See Eye To Eye (and how you can fix this)
Marriage is not only a union between two individuals. It is a sacred bond that brings two families together. A happy family is one where both the husband and the wife enjoy a very healthy relationship with their respective in-laws. However, that are testing times when the relationship goes downhill. Fortunately or unfortunately, the struggle is not always between the wife and her in-laws. A husband can also have issues with his in-laws. The reason can be anything, from trivial to something serious. Unfortunately, the wife gets crushed between the two. Both are equally important to her. Having to side with one gets next to impossible.
Here are four reasons as to why your parent and husband may not be getting along and how you could do your part in fixing the issue.
1. Clash of egos
Ego has the potential to turn friends into foes. It is very natural that your parents and husband fall prey to this. What started as a small, healthy discussion turned into something big, something that spoilt the good relationship they had. At times, the damage is beyond repair. It reaches a point where both your parents and husband stop communicating with each other.
How to fix it
The situation, though tricky, is not completely a lost case. Talk to your parents and your husband. Remind them how precious they both are to you, how much fun you guys had together as a family. Try and make them interact with each other (without anyone interference in between) and sort out their differences. Who knows, you might get to enjoy your next weekend with both your parents and husband.
2. They think your husband isn’t “good enough” for you
For parents, their daughter means the world to them. They want the best son-in-law for their daughter. A man who will treat their daughter like a princess and take care of all her needs. The problem arises when their (parents and daughter) dreams clash. A parent’s heart aches when they see their daughter with a man who was never their choice or doesn’t turn out to be the way they wanted him to be. Thus, even though the husband is good, he is never able to make a place for himself in his in-law's heart. With time, the gap and the animosity only widens.
How to fix it
The daughter has to break the ice between them. She should point out the good qualities of her husband. She has to explain to her parents how happy her married life is. Ensure that there is a maximum interaction between your husband and parents. It may be a tedious process, but do not lose hope. Sooner or later, your parents will see your point.
3 Grandparents love and affection
The only time when your parents will love you a little less is when they become grandparents. Being more experienced, they will guide you to nurse your baby better. They might have their reservations against the modern parenting techniques. They might not enjoy you or your husband shouting or disciplining your child. This interference and over possessiveness might become a bone of contention between your husband and your parents. If not nipped in the bud, the situation will go from bad to worse.
How to fix it
While both may be correct, both may be equally wrong, and they both should realise this. Try and explain to your parents the benefits of the modern parenting techniques. Show them videos with regard to this and make them interact with a paediatrician. But at the same time, appreciate their ideas as well. Similarly, explain to your husband and show him that not all the things that your parents do are wrong. Enjoy your baby's antics together. Value both of their opinions.
4. Know where to draw the line
This is a common issue, where the problem is mainly because of the daughter who has become a wife and vice versa. Every couple has their ups and downs. Fights are unavoidable in a relationship. Keep your parents away from such trivial matters. In the heat of the moment, your parents might say something unpleasant about your husband. It is up to you as to how much you share and how much you keep to yourself. Your foolishness can affect the equation between your parents and husband forever.
How to fix it
Only you can fix the mess that you have created. Discuss things that are important and it will make their bond even stronger. Think before you speak. You should know where to draw the line.