A lot of speculation revolves around postpartum sex. For some mothers, the anxiety of having sex after giving birth is almost equivalent to having sex for the very first time. Women are extremely conscious of their bodily changes and other factors. While we may think that childbirth only affects women, it is not true. Even men find it difficult to figure out the mental state of their spouse after pregnancy and delivery.
Postpartum sex is a delicate affair and it is probably a good idea to talk to your doctor as well as your partner about it. There is absolutely no point shying away from it just because you’re too scared about the outcome.
Here are a few things that you need to know:
1. It will be different.
You need to accept the fact that your body and mind have gone through a lot of change since the arrival of a baby and everything is not going to feel exactly the way it did before. Slowly and gradually things will go back to normal but till then, you need to keep patience. Talk to your doctor about your concerns and as to when you can resume having sex postpartum, since it may vary for women who have had normal deliveries and for those who have had a C-section.
2. Your partner may be apprehensive too.
It is easy to think about your own fears and completely forgets about what your partner might be going through. The best way to overcome this issue is to communicate. At first, it may seem awkward, but it is the only way to let the other person know what you prefer the best. Most women are concerned about their bodily changes and most men are concerned about their wives’ emotional state.
3. Follow your own clock.
Even if your friends tell you that they resumed having sex shortly after delivery, you don’t have to adhere to their timelines. Your body is yours and so is your mind. Talk to your partner about your wants and needs, also be courteous enough to hear them out. There is no ‘best time’ to resume sex after delivery. The time is right when you feel it is right, so no need to rush things, but no need to hold them back either.
The hormonal changes in your body lead to decreased sexual drive, which in turn also cause dryness in the vaginal region. You can use some water-based lubricant, but a natural way to get rid of this issue is foreplay. Make sure that you engage in as much foreplay as possible, so that you are ready before you get down to the final act.
5. Don’t keep putting it off.
If you have some fears about sex postpartum, talk to your partner or to your doctor about them but do not unnecessarily carry these fears in your mind and keep putting off the act. It will definitely take time for things to get back to the way they were before, but it does not mean that you don’t even try. Putting off sex after delivery will only create more apprehension and stress in your relationship.