The change in marriage after the birth of a child is inevitable. In fact, after your first baby is born, everything is going to change – some for better, some for worse. You will realize that you and your partner’s whole lives are revolving around the little being who needs you constantly to be at his or her side and demands your undivided attention.
The addition of a new family member brings some new responsibilities for the new parents. You are going to change everything so that it suits the baby. Adjusting your sleeping schedules to dividing up responsibilities and household chores will all be done in accordance with the baby’s comforts. Parents become so busy with their baby that they almost forget their life as a couple, and this is where every relationship suffers a setback. Lack of sleep and adjustment to the new routine only adds up to the building tension between couples.
The two major threats to the marriage after the birth of the baby are lack of time and lack of energy. You may have feelings of disconnectedness from your partner and which then leads to the feeling of grief due to the loss of your couple time. You can also feel jealous of the time, care and the attention the baby is receiving. Combined with the lack of energy due to the perpetual tiredness from caring for the baby, it all causes the intimacy between the couples to reduce greatly; you may start to feel like strangers to each other. If couples do not address this problem openly and try to deal with it, they will only start to feel more isolated from each other.
Here are some pieces of advice that the couples may follow to hold their marital bond strong: -
1. Do not set high expectations for romance in daily life. Not every dinner needs to a candlelight dinner; sitting on the same couch eating pizza and watching TV is also counts as quality time.
2. Accept help from friends and family for babysitting whenever offered. Nothing brings the couples closer together than an evening spent in just each other’s company.
3. Sex is the solution to a lot of problems. Do not miss to take the advantage if the opportunity presents itself.
4. Spend some time alone too. Go out without each other. Go out with your friends. Spending some time in a new company will re-energize you and will make you more tolerant towards trivial problems. In all, it will make you a better person.
5. Go out on date nights as often as possible.
6. Discuss things with each other. Before making any decision, be it household or financial or child-related, ask your partner for advice. This will make them feel involved in your life.
7. Now that you have started a family together, try to fantasize about your future together as a family. Think of picnics that you all will go on together or move into the new house you always wanted.
8. Never let yourself starve. Eat food and keep your tummy full. An empty stomach can cause much frustration that could lead to unnecessary fights.
9. Most importantly, learn to let go of little things. Try to understand that your partner is also suffering from everything that you are suffering from.