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It’s Not a Crime to Put Yourself First

Women are indeed one of the finest creations on earth and yet are always looked down upon. Ever since the story of Adam and Eve, the society has become more patriarchal even though it’s the women who undergo most of the hardships and hard work. It is always assumed that women are supposed to sit at home and do household work while the men go out and earn for the family. But, these are the things of the past as due to modernization and education it is slowly becoming clear that women in no way are any less than the men. In fact, for most of the work which men do, women can do it better and in an even more refined and gracious manner. This is slowly leading to closing the huge gap created by the patriarchy and yet the process is slow.

Women undergo experiences which men might not even be able to bear or tolerate and yet they always care for the family first. After a woman becomes a mother, her entire priority shifts to the child and that becomes her world. Something like this has been embedded in our mind so much that even the women themselves believe that this is the right and the only way to care and do things. But that’s not the case, everyone wants their personal space and free time and the fathers are equally responsible for the child. Then is it not important that all the responsibilities must be shared equally between the mother and father?

A very famous man once said that ”The mother’s love for her child is infinite. Even God himself cannot take it away.” And this is indeed true as all of us must have felt it at some point or the other. But it is not a sin or less love for the child if the mother takes a break from the responsibilities once in a while and puts herself first.

Mothers take most of the responsibility for the child and do most of the work and hence, it is normal for them to put themselves first and take care of themselves also. Even if they think that this might be wrong then consider this, in order to take care of the child to the best of their abilities the mother herself should be in top class mental, emotional and physical aspect and this is indeed important. Thus, it is important that the mothers take a break every once in a while and do the things they like in just the way they like to do them. Read a book, go socialize, take a vacation or just sit in the room and relax for it is important not only for your own health but also for the health of the child whom you love so much. Then, of course, it is also important that the father should also understand and know how to raise a child and take care of him/her and so the best way to do so is to divide all responsibilities from going to PTM to changing the diaper among both the mother and father. This way, both of the parents get their own personal space while also sharing the responsibilities and giving equal time and love to the child.

Sometimes, this so happens that the mothers quit their jobs for indefinite amounts of time after the baby is born and then slowly start getting frustrated while staying at home and not being able to work. Something like this too affects the family and especially the child and thus after the doctor prescribed period of time, the mother should start working in order to keep their own mental well being. This in turn not only keeps the mother happy but also helps more in dividing the responsibilities equally between the mother and father.

It’s not a crime for the mothers to think about themselves first and then think about the family and this does not in any way mean that they love their families any less or do not want to take the family responsibilities. Thinking about oneself is the very basic human nature and the very foundation of the thinking process and that of the brain and hence no one should be stopped from doing that. 

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