Motherhood is loving, caring, incredibly satisfying but also, messy, thankless, tiresome and selfless. In essence, it is overwhelming. And it is quite natural for mothers to crave for the friends who are on the same page as them and who could actually understand what they are going through. Whether you are a new mom or a mom in a new situation, here are a few tips to brush up your friends-making skills and be that “Social butterfly” again.
Putting yourself out there:
Motherhood comes with a big share of making us tired all the time. From feeding our child to sleep-deprivation, everything could make us exhausted. But that doesn’t mean we got to stay in the home all the time. Put your baby in a stroller and explore the neighbourhood or find a local playground or coffee shop where you could plant yourself and relax or book music classes. Putting yourself out there is half battle won. You will be amazed to see how your child could be of great help in starting a conversation with others.
The common notion that holds us back from making new friends at any stage of life is - we assume that every other person has all types of friends they need. But in reality, people are open to meet and interact with others and make new friends. Just in case someone is rude or not interested in having the friendship, don’t take it personally. You never know what they are going through.
Make the first move:
Breaking the ice and making the first move is not as easy as it sounds. But it is always worth a try. Don’t wait for some amazing mom to come over to you and talk. Instead, you make the first move. If you see someone with whom you could connect, go up to her. Compliment her and tell her what you like about her child and that will be the conversation starter. Introduce yourself to her and let her know you are looking for moms to connect with. This kind of openness and honesty is much appreciated and could fetch some mom friends.
Find common ground:
When you feel the conversation is about to hit a dead-end, start asking questions till you find a common ground to discuss. You might have delivered to the same hospital or your kids might be night owls or picky eaters. This kind of common grounds keeps the conversation going. Just in case if you didn’t get enough time to find and discuss regarding the common ground with your potential-friend, it could be done through online chat as well.
Have a sense of humour:
Having a good sense of humour could accord you a great social life. If you are a mom and if you are good at self-deprecating parenting jokes, there is nothing more endearing to other moms.
One of the best ways to deepen the friendships is being regular whether it is to the park or to the playtime. Over the time you will realize with whom you could really connect and this helps in deepening the friendship.
Did you feel you could connect well with one of the mothers? Follow up with them. Call, text or email or do whatever possible to be in touch. This could fetch your friendships for the lifetime to share and care about the ups and downs you encounter in parenthood.
You might need to put some extra efforts to break the ice and to be in touch with your new mom friends. But that doesn’t mean you should mask your real self. Always be yourself. This could gravitate mothers who are just like you.
Don’t obsess over kids:
During playdates, let your kids play. Don’t keep following them. It is time for you to sit back, relax and have some adult talks with your new mom friend