A marriage is a hope and a promise to be together till death do apart, but not all marriages are meant for living happily ever after. In earlier times, couples tend to stay together even in a dysfunctional marriage, respecting the norms of the society and fearing the ridicule that came from breaking them. Now, couples part their ways, if their marriage does not work, by divorcing each other and start a new life. Although a divorce liberates a person from a hopeless future, it is a messy and unpleasant experience; more so in India, where a divorce is still considered as some taboo and frowned upon in public.
Dealing with Emotional Grief
No matter who divorces whom, it breaks the heart of both the people involved, and a broken heart is detrimental to health. A woman may lose her confidence completely, thinking she was not perfect or undesirable, and that is why her husband deserted her. In scenarios like this, the woman should know that no part of it was her fault and neither is she undesirable. Keeping a tab on your ex-partner’s new life will do more harm than good, and neither anything you do to show them that you have moved on, like rushing into new relationships, will help.
Try to close that chapter of your life and move on in a positive way, growing as a person in the process. Women who initiated the divorce themselves being dissatisfied with their marriage may feel less sad when it ends and embrace their new freedom. The best way to deal with grief and sorrow, post-divorce, is to accept it as a natural phase. Resorting to alcohol, smoking, and drugs will only push you further towards your ruin. If things become too hard to handle, you may want to seek counselling, practice yoga or meditation to keep your mind at ease. Take help from friends and family, to provide you with a shoulder to cry on and lend an ear to pour your heart out.
Dealing with Society
No one in India who has gone through a divorce has been immune to nasty taunts. This situation is rather unfortunate as it is the time a person would prefer some compassion and empathy but all they receive is harsh comments and intrusive inquiries. In a myopic society, women, thought to be powerless without men, are often irked with questions upon managing things on their own rather than being appreciated for the same. One way to deal with such people is to avoid them whenever and however possible. If that is not the case, you can shut them down, telling them plainly that you do no want to talk about the subject. This is no time for you to take care of the niceties of the society. If they cannot help you, they have no right to hurt you either.
Legal Aspects and Custody Battles
If your divorce is non-amicable and it also involves the issues of the custody of children and those regarding shared property, the best thing you can do is to hire a good and reputable divorce lawyer. A divorce lawyer is a professional who specifically deals with divorce-related issues and knows all the technicalities of the subject. You may ask for recommendations for divorce lawyers who are efficient from those who have gone through the same experience. Poor women who do not have enough resources and knowledge about these matters often end up getting nothing. They do not get any part of the property or any alimony, and they even lose the custody of the children. You can do some research to find the agencies that are working towards stopping such exploitation of women, as they can help you to fight your legal battles. There are a few NGOs that can help you with the legal paperwork and hire a good divorce lawyer for you at a nominal cost.
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