Mother-in-laws, though pure at heart can actually become a nuisance sometimes especially when it comes to the coming of a grandchild. If she is not telling her choice of names and making you eat all the things she can get, you can actually see her scheming and plotting different ways she can have more access than even you to your own child. But, this might not always be due to some negativity in her thoughts. There are chances when the mother-in-law might just be overly concerned for her grandchild and as a result, might end up crossing some boundaries. But that is the time when you help them understand what their role is in the entire pregnancy and the growth of your child and it is important that you make her understand this, in as much politeness as you can muster. But, we understand that sometimes it can be difficult for you to figure out the way to tackle this problem and thus, we would like to suggest some tips that you can use.
1. Do not put your husband in the middle of this
First and foremost, it is important that you do not make your husband choose between his wife and his mother. That is quite literally the worst thing you can do to them. Instead, try handling whatever problem you are having with your mother in law on your own. You can ask your hubby for suggestions but do not make them intercede for you. Also, if your mother tries to put your husband in the middle then just calmly sit down and talk to them and tell them not to come in between as they will be the one who will get hurt in the end.
2. Let her be a part of the pregnancy on your terms
Believe it or not, in the core deep down, all your mother-in-law wants is to just be a part of what you are going through so that she too can relive that motherhood all over again. And once you get old, you too will probably end up doing the same. And so, let her have her moments but make sure that you are actually ok with the involvement she has in the pregnancy and the motherhood later on.
3. Talk to her
Keeping what’s on your mind to yourself can often have disastrous effects as until and unless you will not talk to the person because of whom you feel offended, you won’t know their side of the story and you wouldn’t know why they did whatever they did. So, talk to your mother-in-law and tell her that you felt bad about certain things and let her explain. Besides, believe it or not, you will actually need her help in a lot of situations. So, by building a rapport with her early on, you can count on her support.
4. Try being patient
Yes, it is very much possible that your mother-in-law can end up getting on your nerves every now and then. But, you will need to be patient and with all the hormones running through your system, it is actually better that you have the patience or else you might end up doing irreparable damage to your relationship. You can definitely do it and just try staying calm in the situations. Speak to her not aggressively but assertively and tell her exactly what’s on your mind without starting a quarrel.
5. Take her to some of the doctor’s appointments
The best way you can let your mother-in-law be satisfied with her inclusion while keeping her from meddling in other affairs is to take your mother-in-law with you when you go to see the doctor. That way she can hear her grandchild’s heartbeat and even know how the baby is faring. And once she talks to the doctor about all the suggestions she has been giving you, you will be spared from them yourself.