Parents like all their children equally and have no bias for any particular one in their heart. As sweet as this statement is, it might not be entirely true. Having a favorite child is something that is frowned upon and all parents deny ever being guilty of it.
Whether or not they accept it, every parent has a favorite child. And no, it is not a good thing. Your kids might not know about it, but it affects them in ways that you might not even be aware of. Parents’ preference may change depending on the age or stage that their children are in.
Parents usually tend to like their little ones more. They are adorable and constantly want to get attention by showing their many skills and abilities. They are vulnerable and require the help of their parents in all endeavors. This makes their parents fall in love with them. But on the other hand, some may hate them because of them keeping up their parents most of the nights.
Middle aged kids might be alright to handle at times, whereas not so easy to look after most of the times. Teenagers are the most annoying. It is not about how much parents love their children, It is more about how much they like each one of them from time to time.
Here is how your favoritism affects your children:
If your children find out that you have a favorite, they are sure to go through a mental rollercoaster. Remember that they have only you in this world and would like it better if you reciprocated their feelings. Your ‘favorite’ child may bully the other siblings, thinking that it is okay to do so; or your ‘not-so-favorite’ child may get depressed and detached.
Children feel that they are not a good human being and it might degrade their confidence. Self-esteem is one of those major developmental areas which children ought to prosper in. If from an early age on this is damaged; there could be repercussions in the future.
Parents need to be careful who they reveal their favoritism to. It should definitely not be your own children or spouse. Telling a close friend who would talk you out of it or give you good advice could be a good decision. Most of the times, you should rely on your own knowledge to stop thinking what you are thinking.
Try to understand what it is that makes you like your one child more than the other one. There might be certain qualities that stand out in your favorite child and not in the others. You have to know that everyone is different and instead, start focusing on the good qualities of all your children. That way you will be able to balance out quite a few things.
Everyone tends to hold grudges. And so will your children if they find out that you were not their favorite child. They might not talk to you well, or may back answer, which would lead to further conflict and problems in the household.
There is no use living in denial. You need to accept your own feelings to make an improvement or alteration. In the end, remember that they are your children and you are everything to them.