In today's metropolitan world, both partners are working and have equally busy schedules. In such cases, it becomes very difficult to maintain a work-life balance and it almost seems impossible to strike a balance between the two. While work is important, you also need to understand that it should not take a toll on your relationship. Household chores are something that you cannot run away from, even if you hire a full-time house help.
Spending quality time with your children and also with one another becomes imperative when you think that work is taking up too much of your time. Household chores are something that needs to be done whether you like it or not. The house is not just one person's responsibility but a collective duty. Make sure that you do not put all the work on your partner or do not take all the work for yourself. All household duties should be equally divided so as to manage the house efficiently.
Whether or not we like to acknowledge the fact, a majority of the household work falls on the woman. She is expected to multitask and give household duties the same amount of importance or more than her job. Whereas the same may not be true for the men in the house. This gulf in responsibility can only be bridged if the issue is acknowledged and given importance.
Most of this parity starts to creep in due to leaves. When couples have kids, it is more often the mother who takes the leave than the father. And this may not necessarily be because of the father's lack of care towards his familial duties. Most employers are more than happy to give a maternal leave but hesitate to approve paternal leaves. Many organisations nowadays are trying to recognise the changing gender roles and are considering applications for paternal leaves as well.
When it comes to household chores, couples often attack each other with accusations. Instead, ask for help. Let your spouse know that you cannot handle the mental and physical strain of so many responsibilities and would like them to partake so as to share the burden. Many a time, the mental burden goes quite unnoticed. Even if your kids are grown up, the mental pressure of managing them can be too much to handle. So, arrange play dates with your kids so that the both of you can spend time with them in equal portions.
Also, it is imperative to look at things from the other person's perspective. Meaning, ask your spouse from time to time how they are doing and whether they require help with any personal or professional matters. Remember that they are the most important person in your life and you have to be there for them at all times.
Write down all the major household tasks that come up every other month and divide them according to each person's expertise or convenience. Switching tasks every month can also help you to get a taste of what the other person is doing and since you know how to do all tasks, you will be able to carry them out independently, in case any contingencies arise and your partner is not able to complete their task. This will not only make the both of you experts in all household tasks but will also give you a little change and prevent things from becoming monotonous.
Quite often, women are obsessive about getting done everything on their own and think that it would be better to just do things on their own rather than to rely on their husbands for some part of the work. In such cases, you need to let it go. Being occupied with work at both office and home is going to stress you out to the max. Instead, lay back a little and let it sink in that household tasks are both yours and your husband's responsibility.
To conclude, just remember that you and your spouse are a team and it is always both of you against the problem and not you v/s them.
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