Motherhood is an overwhelming experience. You can never be too sure if you are doing the right thing for your little one. The truth is there is no right or wrong way to parent. So long as you are doing what you think is best, you are being a good mother. But that’s not enough to make you believe it, is it?
As moms, we question ourselves about whether we are doing enough for our child. We often compare ourselves to other moms and find something that we are lacking. Stay-at-home mothers (SAHM) may feel like they should be going to work and supporting their family. Working mothers may feel like they are not spending enough time with their child. And every mother feels guilty when they scold their child for breaking the rules or misbehaving.
So, here are a few questions that will help you assess if you are being a good mother:
Q1) Do you ever find yourself worrying about whether you are doing the right thing for your child or whether you are doing enough for your child?
A1) If you answered yes, it means that you ARE a good mother. Good mothers are always pushing themselves to become the perfect mother when they should just focus on being a good parent. You are allowed to make mistakes. If you made the wrong choice, you learn from them. You’re still getting used to being a parent and making mistakes are the best way to learn.
Q2) Have you ever fallen asleep while taking care of your child?
A2) Falling asleep is a natural and healthy thing. Sleeping flushes out toxic chemicals from your brain. This is why after a nap, you will find yourself in a better mood and your ability to think will improve. The only mistake you could be making here is not asking for help. Listen to your body’s signals and take adequate rest when required. Ask your husband, relatives or friends to take care of your child while you get some much needed rest.
Q3) Was there a time when you forgot something important? Say - packing your little one’s lunch box, getting your child ready on time or missing an alarm.
A3) Again, this is something that happens to everyone. That thing you forgot might be different but every parent makes these mistakes. Don’t be too hard on yourself for this. It just goes to prove that you are not a superhero - just human. No human is perfect.
Q4) Do you compare yourself to other mothers and get upset about it?
A4) In the age of social media, being a mother has become that much more challenging. We see all these perfect pictures of moms having fun with their children. We forget that social media posts have their filters and real life is usually far from what is portrayed online. This happens in the offline world too. We see mothers doing things that we feel we should be doing and we feel left out. It’s important to note that every mom has their own struggles. They may feel insecure due to something you have and they don’t. Always count your blessings and focus on how you can be a better you.
Q5) Have you ever criticized another mom for her parenting styles?
A5) Mom-shaming is one very common bad habit that we have. We already have enough people telling us the right or wrong way to be a good mother. Being a mother is tough. The last thing you’d want to hear is that another mother thinks you are not doing it right. Instead of bringing each other down, we should support each other and spread love among the mom community.
Remember, as long as you are doing your best as a mother, you are doing enough. We are not perfect. We are just perfectly human and that’s perfectly alright. Every parent has different capabilities and shortcomings. We should celebrate our strengths and support each other’s weaknesses. That would make the parenting journey so much more rewarding.