Coping with a miscarriage
A pregnancy doesn’t always have to be associated with a happy phase in life. There’s a side to it which not many people talk about, but which deserves to be openly discussed. The duration of the pregnancy is irrelevant, whether you carried the child for 4 weeks or 5 months, the emotional trauma you undergo is the same. You felt the joy of being a mother, but it was taken away from you faster than it came. Here are a few ways which will help you cope after a miscarriage.
1. Survivor’s Guilt
Whatever you do, don’t blame yourself for the miscarriage. Don’t dwell on your past actions and think of what you could have possibly done to result in this.Thinking of the one glass of wine you could have forgone won’t help you. You did your best, and that’s the most any mother can do. Realise that the miscarriage is something that happened to you, not something you did.
2. Your partner’s needs
Even though it might be harder on you ,don’t neglect your partner during this time. Don’t isolate them from yourself, thinking that they won’t understand you. They may not react the same way you do, but they definitely could do with your support too. Supporting each other will make the loss easier on both of you.
3. Trying again
Don’t let this deter you from trying to conceive once again. A miscarriage doesn’t have any consequences on your second child but ensure that you and your partner are emotionally ready. Physically, wait for around three rounds of a regular menstrual cycle to try again. But keep in mind that the chances of a miscarriage increase with increase in age, so pick a time to try again keeping these factors in mind.
4. Don’t dwell on it
The loss of a child is definitely a cause for an emotional upheaval and you need to give yourself recovery time but don’t let it exceed that time you’ve allotted for yourself. It won’t help to dwell on the possible reasons or precautions you could have taken, it’ll just disrupt the life you already have established around you. Give yourself some closure, and move on. Try again if you wish to, else be open to other options such as adoption.
5. Open up
A miscarriage is nothing to be ashamed of. The fact that you’re strong enough to open up and talk about it shows that you’re doing what a lot of women have failed to do. Let your family help you through it or talk about it to your girlfriends. Your partner may be trying his level best to fix you but sometimes, only a woman can understand what you’ve gone through. That’s perfectly okay. Sharing your story will not only help you, but also help other women going through the same situation.
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