Are You Turning Your Child Into An Angry One?
We often notice certain signs of agitation and aggression in our kids. Most of us attribute this to normal tantrums. However, it sometimes feels like more than that. It might be a sign that your child is turning into an angry child. But is this, in fact, the case and if so, why is this happening?
There may be certain things that you, as parents, are doing that are having a negative impact on your child. Let’s understand what these things could be.
When you give your child a time-out for doing something they shouldn’t have done, it can make them feel as though you’re not willing to listen to them and that no help is available to them. This could lead to frustration and anxiety, which later manifests itself as anger.
Often, you may play around with your kid by teasing them or imitating them. While this is all fun and games, there are times when they do get annoyed and might feel as though you don’t respect or value them. This could lead to frustration, anger and an overall negative disposition.
Using a lot of negatives like “Don’t do this” and “That behaviour was bad” often affects your child’s self esteem. It produces in them a negative outlook, which could gradually make your child a difficult one to handle.
When you tell your child what to do, they may feel as though their freedom is being taken away. This could make them anxious and make them feel powerless, resulting in the expressing this in the form of aggression and anger.
We tend to tell our kids what to do and what not to do. However, it very often doesn’t cross our minds to explain to our kids why we’re telling them what we’re telling them. Due to this, they often don’t understand why what they’ve done is wrong and why they’re doing what they’re doing. This confusion could lead to frustration, which could affect a child’s mood and overall personality.
How can we prevent this from happening?
There are some things you can do to help your child to the best of your ability.
If you’ve just scolded your child for doing something wrong or if you’re asking them to behave in a certain way, offer them explanations as to why you’re doing this. This will help them understand the reason they were wrong and why you want them to behave a particular way which can result in them automatically behaving the way you want to, in the future. It also prevents confusion and frustration and makes them feel like they’re at the same level as you.
2. Eliminate negatives
Avoid using negative words like “Don’t” and “Bad”. Instead, give them alternatives to their behavior. Instead of telling them not to do something, suggest something else that they could have done. For example, instead of saying “Don’t go outside to play,” say “Since it’s raining, let’s play a game at home.” This gives them an alternate course of action which leads to learning and could prevent them from getting frustrated.
3. Don’t argue
When your child is upset and says something mean, don’t get upset or argue back as it increases frustration. Instead, understand that your child doesn’t mean what they’re saying and he/she is just frustrated and don’t know how else to let it out. By calming yourself down, your child will automatically calm down a little and then you can talk it out with him/her.
If your little one is upset about something, the best thing to do is show that you care. You can do so by acknowledging that they’re upset and talking it through with them. Ask him/her why he/she is upset and offer solutions. This will help them feel supported and understood, having beneficial effects on their self esteem, thus having a positive effect on their personality.
Sometimes, it happens without you noticing. So it’s important to be aware of what you say to your child and how you say it. Kids are extremely impressionable, so make sure they’re catching onto the right impressions. Take that little extra care and effort with your child because it’ll be worth it in the end.