Parenting: Adoptive Parents
People’s mentality over adoption is very different in India as compared to biological birth. When it comes to adoption, parents generally do not tend to open up with others. Parents are skeptical about how the society reacts to the news of adoption. All these situations prevent them from sharing it with others. In many other countries a lot of film actors as well as many common people have been adopting more than one child also, example: Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. But in India adoption cases are rare mainly because of the society’s reaction.
Reasons for why child adoption should be encouraged:
1. An orphan’s happiest day is the day he/she gets adopted for the sole reason he/she now has someone to love him/her, care for him/her, support him/her and nurture him/her.
2. For those parents who have not been blessed with a child, you can bestow your affection on one of the children who haven’t been blessed with parents. It will help develop a mutual relationship and fill the void in both your hearts.
3. You can now start a happy family. Do not be afraid to instill your parenting ideas, values,religion etc. Try to forget the taboos in association with adoption and do not feel alienated in the society.
Reasons for why parents in India are afraid of adoption:
1. They do not know whether to tell the child about his/her adoption, afraid of how they would react to the news and how the society would react too. This fear is a huge obstacle because it’s a potential fact which can drive the child away from you.
2. In India one of the major obstacles is the reaction of your family and friends. Ours being a very orthodox culture offers resistance to such changes which are prevalent in the west.
3. Making mistakes. There is one thing which constantly goes on in your mind as an adoptive parent, the fact that they aren’t your children. It gives you a sense of feeling that you don’t have any right on parenting them and you fear of hurting them. This makes the process of adoption counter-productive and is a major obstacle.
Personally, I feel these barriers are mere mental blocks and the sooner you get over them the better because adoption does more right than wrong.
Note: How to break the news to your child:
1. Gradually start introducing him/her to the concept of adoption so that she becomes familiar with it and it seems normal to him/her.
2. Relate adoption to natural birth. For example, how the day they are born is the happiest day for you, the day they come home should be likewise for an adopted child.
3. Writing down memorable moments since you became a family and showing the collection to them on breaking the news.