For two people who are in love with each other, the over-hyped task of ‘getting married’, is the easy bit. What follows after marriage is what’s crucial. Once married, problems arise just like the sun: every day. A common problem that most married couples face is getting along with their in-laws.
Honestly, until you get married this may all seem really stupid. But when you get married, you realise that you don’t just marry a person, you marry their family. No matter how nice you are and how nice they are, there’s always some tension that exists between the two.
The cause of this tension differs from family to family. But regardless of the cause of tension, there are certain things that you can do to improve your relationship with your in-laws and get along with them better:
1. Be Compassionate
If an in-law comes home unannounced, don’t greet them with a frown. Greet them with a smile. If they have come home due to a problem or something that’s troubling them, show them some empathy. In simple words, your behaviour towards them should discharge warmth and compassion.
2. Spend Time Together
When you read it first, you might think that the advice we are giving you is crazy. But spending time with your in-laws is one of the best ways to ease the tension and break the ice between all of you. If you are really uncomfortable, include your spouse in the activities planned.
The objective is to spend time with them, which in turn, creates opportunities to create pleasant memories with them. However, if both you and your spouse are uncomfortable with this or believe that it might hurt the relationship, meet them less often.
3. Be Genuine
Being genuine with one’s in-laws is hard because one fears their judgement. But that’s where we are wrong. In-laws too, are human beings and they appreciate genuineness. So be positive, be compassionate, treat them special sometimes, but be as genuine as possible.
4. Give Them Respect
In-laws demand respect and rightly so. Because in the society that we live in, age commands respect. It’s best that you come to terms with this fact and give them the respect that they want. Even when their actions aren’t in accordance to your views, respect it. Disrespecting them can complicate your relationship.
5. Communicate Effectively
A massive cause of tension between the two parties is ineffective communication. As you are younger and more flexible to changes, you need to take the effort to communicate. If there are rules that you follow at home and hold sacrosanct, convey these rules to your in-laws rather than getting mad at them for not adhering to them. The same goes with all sorts of communication. Get the correct message across in an efficient and timely manner.
In-laws are tricky customers. But there’s a way to deal with them. Treat them right, and things will sail smoothly for the rest of your married life.