Fathers are awesome. They are the strong pillars of a family’s foundation and the person to run to when you have any troubles or when mom is mad at you. For a daughter, dad is her first love; and for a son, his father is his first hero. Somehow, dads seem to have enormous amounts of patience even when it comes to handling a row with your darling mother. Yes, they are an awesome species!
It goes without saying; dads sometimes say things which are way beyond funny. Growing up in a Punjabi family and having a Punjabi dad is absolutely amazing.
There are always certain things you would get to hear if you have a Punjabi dad. Here are a few of them:
1. Ye ki hai?
Ye ki hai, ki hai, huh? Meaning, what is this, What’s this, huh? While inspecting your expensive purchases or criticizing something that they do not particularly like, Punjabi dads usually go on a ‘Ye ki hai’ tirade. So unless you love this repetitive chain of words, think again before doing anything stupid.
2. Garbage, Bakwas.
Yes, that’s right. This is one of their favourite English words when something does not live up to their standards or expectations. They go on calling everything and anything that they do not like as ‘Garbage’ or ‘Bakwas’.
3. Oh Bandar, Oh Khote.
Well, for those of you who are unaware, ‘bandar’ literally translates into ‘monkey’ and ‘Khote’ means ‘donkey’, Punjabi dads call their kids all sorts of names to point out their incompetence for the sake of it, but it is not out of any hatred. In fact, these swear words almost become a way of expressing love. Crazy, is it not?
4. The throaty sound they make when gargling.
This might get annoying at times but you are almost used to it. You dad takes forever to gargle and then makes a throaty sound as if there is a cough stuck up his throat.
5. Ki kenda?
Beware of these two words. Your dad isn’t actually asking you to repeat what you just said because he missed it. He is giving you an opportunity to rephrase and save yourself.
This word will come up a thousand times if and when your dad is talking about politics. Describing corruption or any other form of malpractice, naturally invites the word ‘chor’ to their mouth. Chor means thief. Calling everybody and anybody that they please, a thief is their birthright.
7. Utha mai?
This means, shall I get up? Don’t go by the literal meaning of these words. These words are a threat. You put one foot out of the line or disobey your parent, you dad is going to say these words, be sure of that. And if your dad does get up (which is never actually going to happen, but still) then you are finished.
8. Makki di roti, Sarson da saag.
According to Punjabi dads, there is nothing which stands up to the taste standards of ‘makki di roti aur sarson da saag’. So if you are thinking about making seamless demands for a pizza or a burger, get ready to hear about your dad’s all time favourite cuisine, although there is no denying that your dad is absolutely right in this case.
9. Oye! Paise ki jhadne lage hai?
Meaning, do you think that money grows on trees? Punjabis are known for their big heartedness and extreme extravaganza, There are times when they would shower you with too much money, but then there will also be times when they would scold you for doing the same things they do (spend money like water). Punjabi dads will then give you lecture about how they had 3 jobs when they were your age.
Absolutely awesome, are they not?