Is your mother-in-law too overprotective about your child? Does she not let you make your mistakes when it comes to being a new mommy? We understand your plight. It is no secret that a mom-in-law likes testing her daughter-in-law’s patience and parenting skills time and again, but when this happens WHILE you have a baby to take care of, it is a little too much!
The fact that you’re reading this article says your situation isn’t very different from what we have mentioned above. So let us make it more relatable for everyone today and share our postpartum experiences with our moms-in-laws only to assure each other that nobody’s alone in the game.
Here are 7 reasons your relationship with your mom-in-law can get sour postpartum.
1. Her constant nagging with your food habits
Is she trying to advise you on your food habits even when you’re not asking for it? Does she keep asking you to eat certain things that might be good for your health, but you don’t like the taste of? We understand they come from experience, but sometimes it does get out of hand, doesn’t it? In this case, even though you’re annoyed, it’s best to not make a big deal of it, as at the end of the day, she is only worried about your health. So, speak only when you feel it is getting out of hand or when you feel she is obsessive about it.
2. Her never ending tales of when she had “your husband”
She constantly reminds you of her success at childbirth, while you’re still trying to figure out your way as a parent. Is it too annoying for you to listen to her go on and on about how she raised your husband and how you need to match every step of hers? Well, we think you need to take a break and have a peaceful conversation about this with her, wherein let her know that you might be new to this, but you’ll manage.
3. Her disapproval on you visiting your parents
In case your mom-in-law wants to have your baby all to herself, we think you must speak to her and slowly slip in how you’re uncomfortable with her making dibs on your child, especially when your parents deserve to spend some time with your baby too. It’s better to talk about it as early as possible, as it can get messy later. It’s also important to be calm when explaining this to her.
4. Her disapproval on you going back to work
We understand if she’s old school and wants to you be by your baby’s side 24/7, but we think it’s time you taught her a thing or two about how things work in today’s world. There’s nothing wrong with you caring about your career while also taking care of your baby. Also, being a mom has taught you how to multitask anyway, hasn’t it?
5. Her discussing your mommy skills with your husband
In case your husband is a mommy’s boy, you need to be careful of what reaches his ears. We aren’t blaming the husbands, as we’re hoping they know how to find a middle ground to all the problems between their wife and mother, but we still think that if this is what your present situation is, you need to stop the unnecessary pressure put on you.
6. Her finding faults in the recipes you try for the baby
Is your mom-in-law not okay with what you feed your baby from the new recipe book you just bought from the bookstore yesterday? Does she keep asking you to go back to her “tried and tested” recipes she fed her children back in her day? Tell her you need your chance at being a mother just like she did. Also, be diplomatic and let her know that you will use her recipes, but that you want your child to get used to more flavours than just what is there is her recipes.
7. Her intervening in your baby time and insisting on babysitting your baby alone
We understand grandparents are extremely fond of their grandchildren, but not at the cost of doubting your motherhood. In case your mom-in-law doesn’t remember it at all, remind her she was once a beginner too. Let her know how you’ve been looking forward to being a mother to your child and that you need your space to be able to do this.