A marriage is a scared foundation built on trust and love. Soulmate or not, your husband is one of the most important persons in your life. From the second you tie the knot, everything that is yours is his and everything that is his is yours. With such great responsibility, comes a lot of pressure too. To make sure your marriage doesn’t crumble under this pressure, here are the things you should avoid:
1. Using words as weapons
Although actions speak louder than words, each and every word coming from your mouth can act as a stab if you intend it to. Of course, there will be situations where you have hold your own ground and speak up for yourself. But be careful about the words you choose. For example - On a day when your husband promised to do something but didn’t, saying something like ‘You never do anything for me’ could hurt him beyond what you imagine.
2. Criticizing in public
No one likes to be humiliated or embarrassed in public. What happens in your house should stay in your house, a little rift between you and your other half could be interpreted as a huge storm by onlookers. If you don’t agree with your husband, don’t criticize his opinion or outrightly state you dislike towards it. This is a major hit to his ego and you might have to pay a large price for it.
3. Undermining his authority
Being the man of the family is not easy. It comes with a lot of responsibilities and your husband will have to take critical decisions frequently. At times like this, you should chip in and talk about it with your husband. Don’t undermine his decisions and his reasons behind it. Even if you know that the decision taken is not exactly a good one, work it out with your hubby before accusing him of anything.
4. Having double standards
In India, women are constantly subjected to double standards. But did you know that it goes both ways too? Imagine this - You wish your husband would help you out more with the household chores but when he asks you to call the plumber or the electrician, it’s unfair to just say - ‘Why should I call? That’s a guy’s job!’ If you’re not comfortable doing anything, you can tell your husband about it and in the similar way, you should also consider if he is not comfortable being involved in certain activities.
5. Trying to change him
We all feel that pang of hurt when someone just corrects the way we speak, imagine how much more horrible it would be if you’re trying to ‘correct’ someone’s personality! Every little quirk of a person is what makes him/her unique and beautiful. Rather than trying to criticize these little things, embrace them as part of the person and you’ll be better off of it.
6. Lashing out on him
‘Happy spouse, happy house’ - This should be on every married person’s mind. You don’t have to go out of your way to make your husband happy - a favourite dish here and a surprise trip there - That’s all! Even if you don’t do anything extraordinary to have a happy husband, one thing you should avoid doing is lashing out on him. We’re humans, we get angry - you say, but screaming at the top of your lungs solves nothing. If anything, it just worsens things. Being calm and patient even in not-so-great situations is an art you need to master.
7. Emotional cheating
It’s no news that physically cheating on your spouse would destroy your marriage but emotional cheating is just as dangerous. If you find yourself drifting apart from your partner, don’t seek for comfort and affection from someone else. Even if you’re thinking of yourself with someone else, it could harm your relationship.