Do you ever feel like your marriage is in troubled waters? Well, that’s the first sign that your marriage could be doomed. Any sort of insecurities in your marriage can eventually boil down to a conflict. This can then lead to irreconcilable differences and then a divorce. A marriage takes a lot of hard work from both - the husband AND the wife. So if only one person is doing all the work, the marriage is bound to crumble.
REMEMBER: If either of you isn’t putting in the effort needed, then the marriage probably isn’t worth your time. This doesn’t have to affect your kids. It is about finding peace within yourself.
Here are 7 of the most obvious signs of trouble in your marriage:
1. One or both of you aren’t putting in the effort
This is really quite obvious. If neither of you put in the effort to make your marriage work, your marriage is definitely going to suffer. The same applies to when only one of you are working towards the relationship. If you want to make your marriage last, start working towards it.
2. You no longer ask questions to each other
When you stop asking questions about their life and what is going on, there is definitely a problem. You and your spouse ought to know what is going on in each other’s day-to-day life. You are supposed to act like a team, like two best friends who are being there for each other. Asking questions is key to making it work.
3. Fighting about the same old things
If you are bringing up the same old thing you fought about 2000 years ago, there is bound to be some bitterness in the system. Whether it was your mistake or your partner’s, you have to learn to let it go. If you are unable to forgive and forget the past, it is probably best to just leave it alone - your partner can’t change the past anyway.
4. Your spouse doesn’t care about your feelings
A red light right here - if your spouse shows no concern about your feelings, you have every right to walk away. You deserve to be treated with respect. The same goes for the way you treat your spouse. If you are not considerate about their feelings, it is unfair on your part. Caring for each other’s feelings is extremely important in a marriage.
5. Spending less time with each other
Be it any relationship, spending time with each other brings you closer together. If you aren’t living in the same city, it makes sense if you are only able to talk over a phone call. But if you are living under the same roof, you absolutely have to spend more time with each other. This means you should find time to go out together, talk to each other and spend quality time with each other at home.
6. Constantly complain to them/about them
If you ever find that all you do is complain instead of talking to them, then there is a problem. It is alright to complain once in a while but if you have nothing but complaints, that needs to be fixed.
7. Focusing on the kids rather than the marriage
Most times, when a marriage isn’t working out, couples just focus on taking care of their kids. They do their parenting duties properly but neglect each other. Sometimes, this can happen unknowingly. Again, if you want your marriage to last, you have to spend time with each other - not just the kids.
What you can do to make it last
Any of these signs in your marriage? Show this article to your spouse to see what they think or feel about it. If you really want to make your marriage work, it is best to seek a marriage counsellor. They will be able to guide you through the process of fixing your marriage.