Relationships take time and effort. They’re not as simple as those ‘couple goals’ make them look. In any relationship, be it your marriage or your friendships, or family relationships, it is important to be careful about the things we say or do as words and actions are truly impactful.
In your marriage too, you need to put in time and effort so that your marriage stays strong and lasts the many tests that life may bring your way. Here are some of the most common mistakes that couples make, which end up hurting their marriage:
1. Trying To Change Each Other
People are all different from each other. Now your spouse may have some habits that you truly dislike. While they may be able to work on a few of their faults, and you work on some of yours, it is impossible to change each other beyond a certain extent. Avoid trying to change each other, because your personalities are both unique and important for the strength and chemistry of your marriage.
Tip: Work together on things that are genuinely hurting the relationship. We are all human after all.
2. Trying Too Hard To Please Each Other
Your husband or wife loves you for who you are. While some effort is a good thing in relationships, too much effort can do the opposite of help. When you try too hard to please someone, the effort doesn’t seem as real. Keep your dates and little gestures and other effort simple and meaningful rather than going above and beyond.
Tip: Keep it simple on your dates - focus on spending quality time!
3. Not Being Open With Each Other
Whether it’s just letting things slide all the time, or simply not talking to each other about things that bother you, not being open can make your relationship very complicated. Not only will lying make it harder for both of you to work as a couple, but it will also put a lot of stress on the relationship. You may even bottle up too many emotions and that can never be healthy for you.
Tip: Be honest, and finish arguing about things now rather than a month later, when you've bottled too many things into one fight.
4. Not Enjoying The Little Things
The little things are important. They define a relationship. It is important to live in the moment so that you can truly feel what needs to be felt, and enjoy each other’s support and affection. It’s normal to worry about the future or to focus on other things, but make sure that you cherish your time together too.
Tip: Appreciate the small and cute things about your relationship.
5. Being ‘Too Busy’ For Each Other
Making time for your marriage is important, despite your busy schedule. Work, kids and other engagements may take up most of your time, but spending at least a few good moments with each other every day can make a huge difference to keeping your marriage alive and strong. Spend quality time with each other. Talk before you go to bed, or try to go on dates once a week.
Tip: Be it a quick 5 minutes or a few hours, making time for each other is crucial!
6. Not Listening
You may be hearing each other out, but listen to them! Listening implies that you pay attention and try to understand what they are saying to you. It helps you understand them better, and avoid misunderstandings. Listening is truly one of the greatest skills that a person should have.
Tip: Listen carefully to understand what your partner may be trying to tell you.
7. Little Or No Physical Intimacy
Physical intimacy matters. That hug or a kiss on the cheek always helps you make your partner feel special. It also releases neurotransmitters which make you both feel happier as a couple.
Tip: Even a small squeeze of your partner's hand will leave both of you knowing that everything will be okay!
Finally, as a couple, it will be your loyalty and support for each other that help you make it through the ups and downs and keep that marriage strong, loving and romantic in the long run.