One of the trickiest challenges you will face after your marriage is maintaining a good relationship with your in-laws. Along with the perks and good moments, you will also have to face lots of relationship conflicts but to retain a healthy balance within the family, you have to win over your in-laws. After all, they are the family you chose to be a part of.
When it comes to maintaining a good relationship with your in-laws and staying clear of any relationship conflicts, you must remember “You get what you give”. Love them the way you want them to love you. But of course, do not expect your in-laws to immediately get gelled with you as you enter their home. It will take time for both the sides (you and your in-laws) to know each other and get emotionally connected into a family.
Are you also experiencing some kind of relationship turbulence with your in-laws? Here are 7 amazing ways you can win over your in-laws:
Treat them as your family:
If you want them to accept you as their family, you will have to treat them like your own family. But do not expect them to reciprocate right away. It might be harder for your mother-in-law to adjust to the fact that there’s now someone else to care for her beloved son and that his attention will be divided among her and the new member, i.e., you.
Maintain a friendly and positive attitude:
When it comes to adjusting to your new house after marriage, it gets easier when you maintain a positive attitude and be open-minded. Try to see things from their perspective too. Along with you, they are also trying to figure out and adjust to the new changes in their house. If you become the example, show interest in them and keeping all egos aside, embrace your in-laws as your own, slowly they will also start opening up to you and embrace you as their own.
Value their opinion and ask for advice:
Everybody likes someone who respects their opinions and values them enough to ask for advice. Whenever you find yourself in any family dilemma or feel like you need help with something, approach you in-laws and ask them to give their inputs. A good relationship with your in-laws is always built upon mutual trust and respect.
Stay connected to them:
To develop any good relationship, it takes equal time and efforts from both the sides. You need to make them feel that they are important to you and you really want to be a part of their lives. If you and your husband stay away from your in-laws, make sure to visit them and stay connected through the phone. Take your children to spend some quality time with your in-laws and let their grandparents take care of them for a while.
Watch out for the unspoken things:
No matter however friendly and understanding emotional connection you develop with your in-laws, anything that goes wrong can trigger the differences to pop up and result in relationship conflicts. There will always be some unspoken relationship rules or things among you and your in-laws that your in-laws will not be vocal about but you need to be mindful of. Be comprehensive about their beliefs, values, perspectives, habits, lifestyle etc. and maintain a mutually respectful relationship.
Set the boundaries clear:
Having a good relationship and friendly connection with your in-laws is a great thing, but you must be very careful not to breach anyone’s privacy just as you wouldn’t like it when they’d do it. Learn when and how to draw the line. Your family i.e., your husband and children, is your first priority. Do not unnecessarily involve your in-laws or your own parents into your private lives and if anyone tries to invade your personal space, make sure to set the boundaries clear. This is extremely important in order to maintain a healthy relationship with anyone.
Treat them equally:
You must have already heard that “daughters and daughters-in-law are not equal”. Hurts, doesn’t it? It hurts just the same when you behave differently with your mother and your mother-in-law. So let’s change that, shall we mommies? Treat your in-laws the same way you treat your own parents and siblings, i.e., as your own family. Spend time with both the families equally. In terms of any relationship conflict, do not be biased towards your parents and blame your in-laws for everything, instead try to find the root cause and resolve it.