Parenting is about raising a beautiful child together, experiencing the joy of holding the little bundle of joy in your arms, watching it grow from strength to strength, the blissful feeling of being proud parents to the miracle that is life…. Except, it’s not always as rosy.
When a dad performs the normal household and baby care activities that the mom does EVERY DAY, he becomes a hero. A knight in shining armour. A prince among men. A man who needs to be cherished, given a special status, be treated like he descended from the stars! But, when a mom does the same, “ What’s so special about that? All moms do that!”
And for all those who don’t know the full extent off ALL the things that moms do, well here’s a taste. I even think moms should be given a damn medal for all the things they do for their babies. While doing other things. Like work. And taking care of themselves. And being a rock star. All at the same time. Sigh.
A single, solitary ‘Mother’s Day’ is useless, people. Everyday, moms do superhuman activities that are barely acknowledge, let alone appreciated. And the dad? He gets a pat on the back for ‘changing the diaper’! What else does the mom do, which when done by the dad, gets a “Wow, you’re such an amazing dad”?
1. When he cooks at home
The reaction when you tell someone your husband made dinner at home? “Your husband seems like such a catch! I wish mine were like that..” Your own mom and mother-in-law also get a free pass to declare to the world, “This son of mine - such an angel!” Really?
When women do it at home, all we get is a “I think the salt is a bit off, maybe you need to add more? You do this everyday, you need to know this!”
2. When he changes the diaper
When dads change the diaper, or try to change it but fail, they get a “Awww, at least he tried! So cute!”
When moms fail? “Umm, wow. She can’t even change a diaper. What a bad mom.”
3. When he takes the kid grocery shopping
Woman with crying baby = “Why can’t she shut up her baby? Ayyo!”
Man with crying baby = “Such a sweet man, let me go help him out with the baby.”
4. When he plays with your kids and their dolls
You spend your whole day playing with your baby and his/her toys, combing the toy’s hair, playing “teacher-teacher”, but sure. The moment your husband holds even one of your daughter’s toys and plays “hotel-hotel” with her, he’s done. He’s going to get that ‘Dad of the Year’ award.
5. When he takes them to classes
Whenever your husband dropping off your kid to his/her dance class, or painting class, or to a museum or something, it becomes breaking news! What an amazing father, what a man! Spends time with his child! Wow. You do the same thing, and no one bats an eyelid.
6. When he helps your kid out with homework
Well, this is a fine line, but basically, if your husband comes home early or decides to spend the day at home and pays attention to your kids’ homework and education - he becomes a martyr, and is immortalized for life! What about you? You’re still expected to sit down with your child and make him/her learnt the 3 tables until they get it right. And you still don’t get an award.
Sigh. Being a mom is hard. But what’s even worse is the double standards when it come to women and men taking care of children or household activities.
These might be slightly extreme, but if you’re a mom, you know all of these are true! All moms ask for is a little appreciation, and a little shared responsibility. After all, parenting does involve two people.