No parent would willingly go for bad parenting even if the whole parenting experience becomes too overwhelming for them. They’d do anything in their power to give their kids the life they didn’t get but surely desired. But sometimes, unfortunately, things do not turn out the way they imagined and their kids turn out to be impaired. Even though you may think you are doing right, there are some parenting incidents or mistakes that you may be doing, which can have long-term effects on your kids. Here are 6 signs of bad parenting that every parent must know about:
1. Your child yells or swears a lot:
A child’s mind is a clean slate. Children’s personality gets moulded according to their experience with the people around them and the environment they grow up in. Your children will learn from you or anyone they get in touch with on a regular basis. If your child yells or swears a lot even at the slightest discomfort, most probably they have seen you doing the same at some of the time. This means you are not setting a good example for them to learn from. Make sure not to use any foul language and always maintain appropriate behaviour, especially when your kids are around.
2. Your child is timid and unmotivated:
While most kids tend to be a bit shy in front of others when they first meet them, some find it hard to be easy with their parents too. This may be the result of overbearing parents practising Authoritarian parenting style. Due to the over-controlling and extremely strict nature of parents, the child feels completely oppressed. They start believing that their feelings have no value, which is why they are being avoided or neglected. Constant neglect or strict parenting can hamper your child’s emotional and cognitive behaviour.
3. Your child is over-demanding:
Too much of pampering, make the children too demanding. They start throwing tantrums whenever they don’t get something that they want. They end up developing a very irrational financial attitude and do not understand the value of money. Such pampering also leads to parents over-protecting their kids and constantly getting involved in their tasks and activities, even the easiest ones. Due to which the kids lack the courage or ability to do things on their own and depend completely upon others’ help. They grow up to be incapable of making decisions and doing things independently.
4. Your child lies a lot:
“They are kids, they won’t know it’s a lie” - is not an excuse to lie to your kids. Children trust their parents blindly. Not trusting them or lying to them will make them feel confused, cheated or hurt when they find out. They will find it hard to believe you the next time and learn to reciprocate the same. Your kids will start lying about everything when they learn how easy it becomes to get away with their mistakes when they lie. Also, children try to hide their mistakes when they are scared of punishment. If they have prior experience of getting physically or verbally abused when they did a mistake, then it is very likely that they’ll cover it up the next time with lies and deceit.
5. Your child is not confident and has poor self-esteem:
Children believe what their parents tell them wholeheartedly. Constant and over-criticism makes them doubt their own abilities and concentrate more on their negatives. They grow up with poor self-esteem and do not learn to be confident. Therefore, instead of giving advice, try to acknowledge whatever they do right and encourage them. Also, when a parent makes it obvious about having a favourite child, it can be damaging and devastating to the other sibling. Such discrimination among your kids can lead him to depression and other mental disabilities.
6. Your child is negative about other people:
Many parents try to make their kids understand their mistakes but unfortunately by the wrong means or ways. Constantly comparing your kids with other children or scolding, insulting and taunting them in front of other people, will do no good for them except for feeling embarrassed. They will not get the message you want to convey but will, in fact, start doubting themselves in everything. They will start hating others for being better than they are, at least in your eyes. Due to which they will grow up to be negative about other people, lack empathy and will not know how to develop a long-lasting relationship.