When you lose someone or something you are very close to and love - you might experience a strong emotion of grief. You might feel this when you feel that it is permanent. For you, it or they have gone away and are not present anymore.
There are varied factors that add onto the way you get affected by your grief, like:
- what kind of loss it is
- your upbringing, beliefs, religion, age, relationships, physical and mental health
Everyone takes their own time to cope according to these factors. Some people cope by themselves or some might need help from a professional. In the end, all methods are okay and normal.
Grief is something that takes time to cope with and has no ‘quick remedies’.
Roughly, you might grieve from a year to 18 months after a major loss. Yet, studies have given easy and simple practices that you can do to make sure that you cope with your grief and not get negatively affected by it.
Here below - there are 6 such ways that you can effectively try out so that your coping with grief is healthy!
1. Emotional coping
This a method that is very natural and common when you grieve.
- In fact, studies have proved it to be good and beneficial when you are able to let out the overwhelming feelings.
- It is okay to feel any or even none of these as this is something that usually passes with time.
These could be a long range from denial, shock, distancing, anxiety, helplessness depression, sadness to anger.
- Knowing when to stop, how to stop and learning from it is important as well as positive for your health.
- If you feel that you may not be able to cope alone - seeking help from counsellors, people you trust or someone who may have been through the same loss is also effective. Always remember that this should not only be based on your choice but also your comfort.
2. Be open
Acceptance may come only after a long while - it is very much possible if you have the right tools.
- When you suppress your feelings and thoughts inside a locked part of your mind - your grief will only cause you more danger. This is never an effective tool to cope.
- Expression like drawing, talking, music or writing are things that will help you in the path of coping with grief.
- Recently, journal writing has been proved to be a very good tool to reduce negativity and learning from your loss.
- Even talking about it is in no way a taboo or wrong. It is very healthy coping strategy for your grief.
3. Continue your routine
You should try as much as you can to do the things that you usually did.
- This could be something big like working or simple like cooking and gardening.
- You can try out new things, re-invent/re-furbish things around you or relationships that you had in the past.
- Again, this depends on whether you are comfortable and chose to do it yourself.
- The aspects of ‘new’ and ‘not stopping’ in the situation of grief will lessen the negativity that might be growing within you.
Tiredness is common in a grief coping.
- It is not in anyway of you ignoring the problem as rest is important to keep yourself fresh and give your mind a healthy amount of time to restructure your thoughts.
- You must visit a professional immediately as problems with your sleep might not be healthy for you or your family.
5. Eat healthy
Focus on a healthy and balanced diet.
- Numbing is not something that you want to make a habit out of. While distancing to some point is natural and healthy, you should know when it might become dangerous.
- Try as much as you can to steer clear of comfort food on a regular basis.
- Some occasional treats are in no way harmful - but you should know when to limit yourself for your overall positivity.
6. Children are sensitive
If you have little ones at home - it becomes very important to be careful about the coping method you chose. Make them understand in the way that will not harm them.
- You should avoid being too open about your emotions with younger children as that can directly affect the way they are feeling.
- Ensure that they know it is not their fault.
- Let them have as normal a schedule as possible in the situation.
- Yet, their suppression should not be encouraged at the same time. Inclusion is important. So, make sure you let your child know that they will be heard in any possible for for them to express themselves. This may be talking, music, writing or drawing.
Grief comes and goes - so, try not let it harm your family or you too much. There are definitely effective ways to cope.
If you have a strong feeling that safety is hampered and that you may not be dealing with the grief in a healthy manner - you should definitely seek assistance for your family and your good. Always remember to visit the doctor or a professional when in doubt or question about any of your symptoms.
Take care mommies!