Saas bahu TV serials are India’s favourite. But what happens when those serials follow you home? What do you do when you have a mother-in-law who seems to have taken a dislike to you? Here’s our little guide, should you find yourself in this situation.
One thing that we often forget is that our spouse was once his/her parents’ little one. Your spouse belonged to their parents. So it’s only natural that a mother will feel upset to some extent when her kid gets married. Her little one is leaving her for someone else. This is especially the problem that daughter-in-laws face. There’s nothing you can do to make that feeling of loss go away. Since you know this, the best and nicest thing you can do is empathize. Try to understand where she’s coming from and be compassionate towards her. Try to make her feel included when it comes to the big decisions in your life.
It’s important to not keep your frustrations to yourself. Keep a line of communication open. This means airing out when something has upset you and when you feel like lines have been crossed. If you don’t feel comfortable talking to your mother in law directly, you could try telling your husband. What’s important to remember is that you’ve got to keep a cool head. Make sure to address the issue before it escalates so that you’ve not reached the bursting point.
If all else fails, try to detach yourself as much as you can. If you feel like your mother in law is getting too emotional with too much negativity, try to emotionally distance yourself. Keep boundaries between the two of you and stay acquaintances. It’s not a rule of thumb that one always has to be super close and chummy with their mother-in-law so don’t feel obliged to keep up to that image.
If all else fails, try to avoid the situations that you don’t want to be finding yourself in. Avoid possible conflict situations by either keeping a physical distance or by learning how to identify conflict triggers and stop it before it happens. Keeping physical distance may mean trying to reduce the amount of time spent around each other, but we would only recommend this in extreme cases. Keep in mind that these things affect your spouse as well and making things hard for your spouse wouldn’t be the most favourable or fair option. Distance could also mean keep a cap on talking time. Allot a certain amount of time to talk to your MIL over the phone and stick to it.
One of the most important things in a marriage is being able to support your spouse. Keep him/her in the loop. If there are issues that exist, keep your spouse informed so that they can be on a look out for a possible fight that may arise. It’ll also help them be completely aware of the situation so that they don’t think there’s any funny business going on because that would lead to unnecessary tensions within the circle. It doesn’t necessarily mean the problem will be solved, but conflict situations can be avoided.
The best thing to do when it comes to in laws is to build good relations. Treat them with love and kindness as if they were your own family (which they are). But if it does come down to it, and if you feel like the relationships may get strained, be as cordial and polite as possible. Maintaining good relationships with your spouse’s family is first priority!