If you are married, it is likely that you’ve heard that one must invest time in their marriage. It is not just time that you have to invest in your marriage though. There are many more things that couples need to do to make sure that they are giving their best to their marriage. A lot of people will tell you that you need to “invest” in your marriage, but what does that really mean?
While the first couple years of your marriage may seem quite smooth and jolly, the years that come after this time are the ones that really test your willpower as a team. Both of you need to remember that it is not you vs your partner but you and your partner vs the problem.
Here are 5 things that every happy married couple should do:
1. Connect Emotionally and Spiritually
This is one concept that couples do not understand fully or most of the times end up misunderstanding. Connecting with each other on a spiritual level does not necessarily need the both of you to attend expensive spiritual summits or hear podcasts on spirituality. While it would be definitely beneficial to do so if time permits, connecting to each other is way more than what we think. Talking to each other about heartfelt and sensitive topics and being empathetic towards your partner is extremely important. Try not to be judgemental about the other person’s opinions and thought processes.
One cannot emphasize how important communication is in all kinds of relationships. Communication is imperative at all levels of a relationship and you should not shy away from difficult topics. It is only when you both talk about it that you can come to a mutual consent and make a decision as to how you want to deal with a particular issue. Keeping things mum and avoiding confrontation is only going to aggravate problems and complicate your relationship further. Try to have open minded conversations and make sure that you do not ignore the other person’s opinion.
3. Physical Intimacy
Some couples believe that a certain emotional connection is enough and hence physical intimacy is not of any importance after a certain period of time in the marriage. This, however, is not true. This especially happens to couples who have had children. They lose all touch of intimacy and barely perform gestures as meagre as holding hands or snuggling up. But even these small gestures can not only enhance your relationship, but can also help you realize how much happier it makes both of you.
You have to accept that all of us are flawed, and so is your partner. Your partner is bound to make mistakes and you cannot control all their actions. While there is a threshold for everything, be a little forgiving. Make sure that both of you do not keep secrets from each other. This will only be possible if you both are open minded and accepting. The fear of how your partner will react will only make both of you keep more and more secrets from one another. People who are highly satisfied in their marriage are not the ones who have the least disagreements, they are the ones that involve the most forgiveness.
5. Take a break
Work can be extremely hectic and consuming. If you have kids, then it becomes even more difficult to spend some alone time with each other. In times like this, press the pause button and plan a getaway. It does not have to be anything too elaborate. Even a couple of days away from your job and the regular places that you visit can do wonders. You’ll rediscover each other and your marriage will bloom.
Your marriage should never take a backseat after you have children. Rather, try to do things both, as a couple and as a family. A relationship built on acceptance and trust is the way to go!