Once you get married, it becomes difficult to stay as close to your parents as you once were. You spend most of your time with your lawfully wedded partner, the kids and perhaps your in-laws if you are staying with them. This doesn’t mean that you can’t maintain a good bond with your parents anymore. Your parents will always love you and it is your job as their child to keep up the relationship.
Here are some rules to help you maintain your relationship with the parents:
1. Act like an adult
If you want your parents to stop treating you like a child, you have to start acting like an adult first. Don’t call them if all you are going to do is ask for help with something or ask for money. You are old enough to earn your own money and manage your life. Take responsibility for everything and call your parents to ask if THEY need help with anything.
2. Keep in touch
You don’t need a reason to ring up your parents. They raised you and you ought to keep up with them. The best way to know if you are talking to them enough is if you are able to say what they will be doing today and what exactly is going on in their life.
3. Talk about boundaries
Most parents are so attached to their kids that even after their kids get married off and move to another home, they still need to know exactly what is going on in their kids’ lives at every moment. Although you can’t ask a parent to stop parenting, you can talk about establishing boundaries - at least when it comes to your spouse.
4. Respect their rules
Parents often say things out of experience. They may also have some beliefs or traditions that are so deep-rooted that you can’t change them even if you wanted to. The best you can do as their child is to respect them. Say if they are not okay with your or spouse being out too late, then respect it and return home on time. You can occasionally break the rule but make sure your parents don’t hear about it or it would hurt them.
5. Avoid jumping to conclusions
You may know your parents really well but that doesn’t mean you should predict or assume things about them. For example, if you are making plans to go out, don’t assume your parents will be free to take care of the kids last minute. Check with them and find out if they will be available on that day to babysit them. Similarly, when you are doing something for the parents - especially the in-laws - don’t try to predict what they want. It’s better to talk to them about it first to get an idea.