A friend had a baby and you don't know what to ask? What is the polite way to inquire about the Mommy and baby without sounding outlandish? Before taking these points, let's see what NOT to ask the doting mom:
1. Are you nursing?
Well Duh! Obviously. And the little one already makes sure that she remembers this activity pretty clearly and your kind concern will be met with an eye roll (or a grunt). Imagine how hard it would be to have a little stomach that yearns for food and then forgets to take his full. The cycle goes on after every few minutes.
2. When are you joining back to work?
Being a concerned friend is good but rephrasing the financial challenges of the new parents is equally important. If you wish to convey your concern then enquire about the caregivers the parents wish to appoint or ask about the work-life balance plans.
3. When are you having the second?
You will surely get back a scowl for your excitement. At this point, the family is doing all it can to help its new addition and surely have invested many sleepless nights in the endeavour. The initial demands of parenting seem too high definitely the parents will reply in negative.
4. Are you having sex?
The new parents are too busy and tired of the demands of the new position that sex is the last thing on their minds. Also, the mother is weak from the childbirth and will have stitches you know where and surely would not like to have sex during this period. So let this question pass.
5. Is she/he a good baby?
No doting parents will like to answer this question for the baby's arrival is a sweet but tiring experience. The Mommy dearest will have yet to find her footing. (imagine satisfying a mewling little person who regularly eats, sleep and poops and add to this equally enthusiastic group of family and friends). Don't take this opportunity to boost knowledge of child care skills. Period.
If not the above then what else to say/do?
- Enquire politely what help you can extend in this time of need. Offer help in grocery shopping or doing household chores to ease the pressure off the new parents. They will appreciate your help and respect you for that.
- Ask about the new things baby has learned. Parents will love to share the antics with you. Show excitement for viewing the family photographs and shower your love with heartfelt praises. Your oohs and ahhs will help cheer the family and strengthen your bond.
- The too busy parents will have little time for their personal comfort. Cook for them a healthy or sumptuous dinner and show them that you really want to go an extra mile for them.
- Bring a gift or enquire about the same from the new parents and they will surely feel overwhelmed.
- Bring a sweet little note with flowers to help cheer the atmosphere and let the card do the talking.
- Just keep quiet. (If you are a known speak-your-heart out kind of person, please stay silent and let the excited new parents do the talking.)