It cannot be emphasized enough that each child is different. They have their own individual personalities and needs. We as parents may pore over parenting books, attend seminars and try to incorporate new parenting techniques but at the end of the day, it’s all about knowing what works best for your child. Showing affection or love a certain way may work for one child and not on another. Dr. Gary Chapman says knowing your child’s love language can make all of the difference in your relationship. Your relationship with your child will be easier and the two of you will feel more connected if you discover your child’s love language.
Some kids understand love and affection through touch. It may be the simple act of hugging, kissing, cuddling that your child resonates with. It will speak louder to them than an “I love you” ever will.These kids understand this language of love the clearest and a pat on the back or an affectionate stroking of their hair will mean the world to them and show them that they are loved and valued.
Words are a very powerful tool of communication. They leave a mark long after everything’s been said and done. You may shower your kids with gifts and presents but they might just be craving for words of appreciation, encouragement, and love. Being vocal about your feelings and telling your kids that you love them may be the only way for them to feel loved and cherished. The words might stay with your child for a lifetime and affect their growth and personality.Make sure you acknowledge your child’s achievements with words of praise and encouragement and say the words “ I love you” as often as possible.
Kids are quite possessive of their parents and want them all to themselves. The best way to make them feel loved is to spend some quality time with them and give them your undivided attention. It may simply be a picnic, teaching them how to ride a bike or playing their favorite game with them. It makes them feel important and that they matter. You get to teach them new things and also know what’s going on in their lives. The whole experience is something that your kids will cherish and fondly remember.
Gifts brighten up any child’s day but for some, it is their primary love language and it means so much more to them. It will be construed as your way of expressing your love and will hold so much more meaning and depth. It makes them feel that you love them and that you deem them worthy of those presents. They view them as symbols your love. The gifts don’t need to be expensive. It can be as simple as cooking their favorite meal, taking them out for their favorite movie or buying them candy or toys. These simple things go a long way in building a healthy relationship with your child.
Acts of service
The simple act of asking your help to finish their homework or to fix a bicycle may be a plea for love and affection. As physically and emotionally demanding as they may be, it is necessary to make your child feel loved and taken care of. Your child will always remember that you were holding his/her hand every step of the way and that you made them feel protected. It is a way of teaching them things and making them more independent. However, it does not mean that you jump at their every request and make them rely on you for everything. Each plea for help calls for a thoughtful, loving response.
Recognizing your child’s love language will help you build a meaningful and loving relationship with your child! :)