Miscarriage is such a loss which leaves a woman stranded with grief. The deliberately gentle tone of the Doctor in which he says “I’m sorry” can make your heart ready to explode with the sadness of losing your baby. The sudden vacancy of your womb is a new kind of heartbreak that dashes your hopes and becomes a reason for prolonged sadness. Every pregnant woman you see around yourself can twist the knife and make you feel cursed for being so unfortunate. The emotional pictures of happy baby and mom can feel like a blow to the chest and you might want to run away from everything around yourself. Recovering from a miscarriage can be difficult but you must allow yourself to heal from the guilt of losing your baby. Here are the ideas that can boost your emotional healing and help you get prepared for a healthy pregnancy once again.
Seek emotional support
After experiencing a miscarriage one thing that you would need the most in your life is a strong emotional support system in place. Share your feelings and grief with your family members and friends so that you feel light from inside. Talk to them about the way you feel and mourn your loss with them. Remember healing doesn’t come when you’ll close yourself off to the world. Your friends might share similar stories encouraging you to come out of the tough phase by making you feel assured that tough times always pass on.
Stop being surrounded by the feeling of guilt
Many women try to find the reason for the loss of their baby and when they are not able to find the right reason they start stating themselves responsible for the loss. “It might be because of the margarita I drank last night or went up and down the staircase or busted my bum on the shelf in the corner of my room”. Don’t try to find a reason just for the sake of the ugly guilt game. This will make your miscarriage even more painful. There’s nothing that was your fault that led to this loss.
Honor the experience
If you want to make peace with the loss then try doing something that can make your experience memorable. Try holding a symbolic funeral, plant a tree, pray for your little one or light a candle and try to assemble your thoughts for him. In Japan women who have experienced miscarriage place a Mizuko Jizo which is a small statue of the infant in the Buddhist temple in remembrance of the lost life. This makes the healing process easier by fuelling yourself with positive energy and a vigour to turn the loss into a historic moment.
After a miscarriage, the desire to become pregnant again increases. If you really want to have a healthy pregnancy the next time then you’ll need to heal your body by eating healthy food, getting plenty of sleep, drinking water, getting a massage and doing yoga. Remind yourself that you’re healing not only from your heart but also by your body. Once you’ll give your body the perfect start to prepare for the next pregnancy the right time for your child will come, too.
These small steps can help you let go of grief by changing what you long for and what you cherish. In the stormy place where it might seem that tears will never end, I promise they will end.