As a breastfeeding mom, you’ve probably gone through a lot of crazy and weird experiences. Who knew that babies and bodies could be such mess-makers? Whether it’s mess-related, baby related, or clothes related, you can’t deny that it’s easy to find humour in these situations. To put it one way, it’s oddly charming, and unique to breastfeeding mums.
1. The Leaky Cauldron:
I think the title speaks for itself. You spend the first few days trying to figure out whether your body is producing milk or not, and then it strikes, quite literally. What more? Even though you know it’s already there, it likes to make you aware of its presence. Your breasts are not afraid to leak every once in a while, when you smell your baby or hear a baby’s cry.
Lactating makes your breasts grow, maybe even a couple of sizes. You’d know if you breastfeed that, with the enlargement of breasts comes disproportionality. As you nurse your baby, one boob may become smaller than the other as it has less milk. This could earn you a few strange looks in public, but there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.
3. My Face Or Hers?
There’s something about your face that appears extra inviting and appealing to your baby right when you’re in the middle of nursing. You become an expert at putting up with a lot of face touching and grabbing, courtesy of the little one. However, sometimes you probably find yourself wondering whether your face belongs to you or your baby.
4. Bye-Bye Danglers:
Along with the face grabbing comes the grabbing of anything else that is within the reach of those cute, monstrous hands. You’ve learnt after the first time that it’s best to not wear dangler earrings whilst breastfeeding. In fact, it’s best not to wear them at all with a child in the house.
5. Little Gymnast:
Whilst breastfeeding, you’re probably going to discover some crazy gymnastic and acrobatic hidden talents. Not in you, in your baby. The number of times they move and adjust themselves and the positions they finally get comfortable in, is nowhere short of a gold medal at the baby-olympics.
6. Bye-Bye Oxford English:
Nursing is such effort that it requires it’s own secret language. You’re privy to this secret code quite soon after you start breastfeeding. Your vocabulary consists mostly of terms like latch, LO(Little/Loved One), NIP(Nurse In Public), let down, and Niplash. These make conversing with your breastfeeding friends much easier and efficient.
7. A Girl’s Best Friend:
Waking up in the middle of the night to nurse your crying baby can be one of the most lonely parts of motherhood. This is when you’ll learn that your smartphone is your best friend. You’ve already learnt that it’s best to let your baby nurse till he/she is full otherwise you’ll have to deal with the crying for the entire night. So during this time, you’ll definitely want to have your smartphone handy to play a couple dozen rounds of your favourite game or swipe through some great memes.
8. Milk Drunk:
One of the sweetest parts of motherhood and nursing is seeing the milk-drunk look on your baby’s face. It’s like a drunk old man, except it’s a tiny human so it’s less creepy and more adorable. You also know that that face means the little devil will probably be out for a while which means no crying for a few hours, for you or the baby.
9. Wardrobe Change:
You understand the pain of having to go to the clothes store every couple of days to find the right outfit to breastfeed in, in public, because the last three tops you got did not do the job. This means you’re probably going to have a much fuller and more different wardrobe than before. You also have to account for extra boob-space you now need, thanks to lactation.
10. To Move Or Not To Move:
That is the question. Debatably, the hardest nursing decision you’ll have to make is whether or not to put your baby in the crib/bed if he/she has fallen asleep while feeding. You never know what movement could wake them up and bring down a great plague of tears and wailing.
To all you expecting mums out there, don’t let any of this scare you. When you’re in this position, you’ll learn to find the humour in it. Enjoy this time!