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A Month Old Girl | Apr 26

It's really sad that my Sil has become so possessive for my daughter that she never let me take care of her like I want to give bath to my baby. She never lets me do that. I told my husband about it so he told my mil to ask my sil let me give her bath. But she just let me do it for the sake of it for some time and then took baby from me. Same with massaging. If she cries she comes running and starts to play with her. She always says that she looks totally like her. Also the baby stops crying whenever she's with my sil. And with me the baby is cranky. I try so much to love her and my sil comes and take her from Me. My sil says that I just don't have milk else she is more happy with her. It kills me inside. I can't say anything to her bcoz then she creates huge drama for which I'm not mentally ready. Because she is not living with her husband she gets sympathy points from everyone. She totally took away my importance of motherhood. She keeps bragging about herself to every visitor.

19 Answers
Hello darling.....

First there is a saying that baby know mamas' heartbeat, smell, warmth starting from the womb till their whole lyf...
so dnt worry abt it....

second ur sil is possessive, its not unusual, every family has this problem dear.... there is no way, talk abt dis to ur husband wid little anger speech.. Tell him tat we can give our child to his sis as adopted and we can leave this house.. i think by dis point he may take this issue seriously.....sit and talk to ur mil and sil.... Face the drama for which u r not ready... U have to fight for ur rights ma... Otherwise u have to cry lyk dis ly.....

i too faced this situation even with my mom.... That ly she is caring my daughter well and m being irresposible..... I tolerated for nearly 2 to 3 mnths and aftr tat my dad also started telling tat baby is sticking to ly grandparents amd not me..... I gpt angry and had a huge fight with them... I shouted lyk anything else..... Aftr all this is my i dint think abt anything amd fought...


Aftr few days, my daughter cried for sleeping...Everyone my dad, mom, sis, tried to make her sleep in swing, hands, lap...But nothing happened...Once i got my daughtr in my hand and i juz made her lie on my shoulder and pat on her back... Within few mins, she slept....I was so happy...

SEE ur baby is urs....No one can seperate from us dear....dnt lose the hope.....

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I don't have babies yet. I'm just 7 weeks now. So I don't exactly know what it'd be like to be in your situation. So pardon me if I'm wrong.

You said your SIL isn't living with her husband from which I understand that she doesn't have babies of her own. Honestly if it was me, I'd be jealous of you to have a baby of your own, and think twice before touching the baby(maybe I'm just a monster, but it'd be overwhelming to not feel jealousy, trust me). But your SIL isn't! Probably she's just trying to fill the hole in her heart by being with your child. It's not exactly like she wants your baby away from you. It might not be a planned action, but more likely spontaneous. Try not to be offended by her actions. It's still your baby!

At the same time, I understand how frustrating it'd be if you don't get to be with your baby. Even worse if you want someone else's permission to pamper YOUR baby. Like most people said here, you can fight for your baby and push/ trick your SIL away. But seriously, it's a baby! Not a trophy to fight for.

Again, a simple Psychology! If you keep on complaining your SIL to your husband or MIL, she might feel attacked and further behave rude toward you. My advice is have an open conversation with her. A hearty one, not pouring your frustrations like,"why don't you let me keep my baby, she's mine!". But be polite. You deeply miss being with your baby. So tell her(directly) what exactly you feel. There's a lot of chance that she'll understand. If you complain to your husband or MIL it's still close to asking PERMISSION. Now, I wouldn't do that.

Or better yet, she needn't be alone with your baby. You too can spend some time with them. The three of you together.

Well, I used to do something like this.

It was when I was newly married. My SIL had her second baby. When the baby was awake, we'd put the baby in front of us and we sit side by side. So we both could play and coo the baby. Of course the baby's attention shifted between us from time to time, but we both had fun. When they both sleep, she'd lay the baby beside her, so that it'd be easy for her to feed the baby the instant it starts to cry.

You can do something similar too!

Unlike everyone said, it's easy to let a harsh comment slip your mouth, honey. But it's hard to fix a broken relationship. Please, try to be calm. Everybody might need relations at some point in life. Besides, who knows! You might push people because they seem to come between you and your baby. But your baby might miss having an aunt when she's older. Definitely, you don't want to be the reason behind that.

And happen what may, your baby is yours. She might smile at your SIL, but she still loves you. Many first time mom's have trouble handling their babies and calming them down. Don't let that bother you. That doesn't mean that your baby hates you. You just need more practice, which means more time with your baby and... problem solved.

Besides, babies don't prioritize someone like adults do. They love anyone who care them.

With all that said, your SIL claiming that she might be the mother except for not feeding is utterly insensitive. You definitely have to ask her not say THAT. Now that's the point of debate and totally unacceptable!
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