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2 Months Old Boy | Jul 25

Hello... I had c section on 19 may .my due date was 18 may ..as time over then Dr told dat we cant wait for natural pain.. then I got admit on 19 may .. they gave me injection to induce labour ..pain was started ..then suddenly they said heartbeat is decreasing of baby .we have to go for ceserian..I have a baby boy..but I m not happy with it .I love my baby..but since day day I m depressed about ceserian..I don't want ceserian..I want normal delivery and worked hard for it..did Everything for it..plz suggest what should I do..I want to finish my life..my life become dead and lifeless..why I m alive

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Dear new mom,
I’m myself a new mom (5 weeks old) and having gone through a c-sec after 9 months of preparation to have a normal delivery, I know what you’re going through.
I knew some days beforehand that it’ll be c-sec, and I can’t express how sad I was! I had to control myself from crying as I knew it would affect the baby. Even on the day of delivery I was sad. When I saw the baby, I got temporary comfort “I did for his safety”; but when postpartum blues started, the sad feeling came back. On top of that my postpartum recovery has been bad, as my stitches took much longer to heal than most people and my pains were a big hindrance to breastfeeding. It was frustrating beyond words. At some times I felt angry even with the baby. :(
I wouldn’t say my blues are as extreme as wanting to die, but yes, even I feel that dejection.
I want to add here that this dejection comes from only one thing- comparison, and wanting societal appreciation. We women have a nasty habit of comparing ourselves to others and then feel dejection. Plus other people passing judgmental comments makes it worse. I have even heard one about “aaj kal ki ladkiyaan cannot do normal delivery”. People should understand that motherhood is equally demanding, no matter how we get there. Cesarean doesn’t make us less of a mother.
What you’re going through is just part of postpartum phase in which our hormones are going crazy. Pls try to think positive, because only YOU can bring yourself out of this. Remind yourself every time:
1. You got a healthy baby and that’s ALL that should matter after a safe delivery.
2. Your positive attitude will help you in postpartum recovery.
3. Things could have been way worse, so be thankful for all the things that went right.
4. A sad mood affects breastmilk supply too.
5. You prepared yourself for a normal delivery and that’s all we can do. Beyond trying our level best, nothing is in our hands.

Last but not the least, REMEMBER that having a normal or cesarean delivery is not a matter of pride or whatever, in spite of how many women make it about that. Sometimes things are JUST not in our hands. We are a mum, no matter how we got the baby.... It doesn’t matter to the baby! :)
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